I am in a predicament that has evolved over a period of three years or so. I read some clearly flirtatious texts between my husband and a customer of his by complete accident a year ago. I was stunned as he had been going through an extremely difficult time because of an accident he had been involved in. Not physical injury to him but it affected him badly. We had come through the worst and were re-building ourselves and he was coming out of the depression I think he was in. He would never seek help for this however much he was coaxed by his family and I. He thought it a sign of weakness.
I confronted him with the text discovery and he was very apologetic. Claimed it was nothing more than stupid flirtation and said he would stop it immediately. We talked it through, he couldn't give an explanation as to what had made him think it was ok to text the woman. She lives very close to us and although I don't know her, I know of her as my husband has worked for her from time to time. I took the decision to believe and trust him-he was in bits at my initial reaction as I made him leave the house for three days I was so angry. admittedly I had to dig deep to do move on, but I tried to see it from his view point. I have never brought it up again and I think he believes we have moved on....
The reality is, I have not. When this incident happened I switched off and have never switched back on towards him. I am going through the motions as a mum and wife in every way and must be doing a good job as he is oblivious to me being any different.
However, it is becoming more and more difficult and I am finding more and more things about him that I don't like. Our son is now in GCSE final year and I have this goal in my head of getting him through to June and then just letting it all out.
Two things stop me from telling DH how I am feeling. I honestly believe if I do I will not be able to stop it coming out and there is a lot of 'stuff' from the last few years I feel I have had to tolerate as a result of his depression. I honestly believe we will end up splitting. I don't want this to happen when my son is in this really important year of school. We are in the middle of a big property renovation. If I tell him now and I say I can't go on any longer how can I expect him to finish off the house? I can't ask him to do that.
As you can see I am in a complete muddle about the whole situation.
I am not afraid of going it alone. Have a good well-paid job and great friends and family. I have only fessed up my feelings to one friend who is being very supportive.
Any advice welcome mumsnetters!! New to this but have lurked and realise I will get both sides. Believe me, I have been supportive beyond belief of DH and feel my support supply has run dry.