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Original poster

Can cheating ever end well

9 replies

irnbru22 · 05/09/2014 20:39

I saw a post on here a while ago about a woman whose friend cheated shortly before getting married. She got marrie regardless and still is now several years later.

Has anyone ever cheated and A) got away with it. B) got away with it and didn't feel guilty. C) got away with it, didn't feel guilty and is still with them?

OP posts:
punygod · 05/09/2014 21:02

Heard loads of examples.

Depends on your attitude to it.

To be frank, I can count on the fingers of one hand the friends/family members who haven't either dabbled or had a full-blown affair.

And yes, it can end well. Morals are a construct, not a set of rules set in stone with a pre-determined outcome.

kaykayblue · 06/09/2014 09:27

I think you need to define "end well" in the context of your question.

I took it to mean did the lying, cheating piece of shit manage to pull the wool over their partner's eyes, not get found out, and have absolutely no guilt or regret over betraying their partner.

But I wanted to make sure that's what you meant, as it is a particularly weird question to be asking.

BolshierAyraStark · 06/09/2014 09:39

Why do you ask as I have to agree with Kay that it's a very odd question?

Were you hoping for some handy hints & tips? Hmm

CogitoErgoSometimes · 06/09/2014 09:45

There are usually at least three people involved in a cheating situation, one of them unwitting of course. If it's something short-lived, secret and no-one speaks of it you can have an 'ignorance is bliss' situation and there's probably no real harm done. If two out of the three people end up together and happy I suppose it ends well for them. The one left behind isn't going to see it that way though. 'Ends well' ... like most things in life... is in the eye of the beholder.

EdithWeston · 06/09/2014 09:46

I'm not sure you're asking the right question.

'Getting away with it' means simply that it is not discovered (or that it is forgiven).

What it does not allow for is what the main relationship could have been like if all the cheater's emotional energy, primary intimacy, planning etc had gone into it. And all those losses are permanent, and the cheater (and their family) cannot get away from that.

FreeSpirit89 · 06/09/2014 09:50

I agree there is three people involved in cheating but sometimes there are two people unwitting.

The other woman can be just a surprised by the fact her new partner is a married man. I think it's a shame the woman use there energy fighting and blaming each other. While the man gets off scot free in most cases.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 06/09/2014 09:55

I agree that it isn't always one person who is in the dark. I've got a friend who was the unwitting OW for a MM and then, to add insult to injury found he had several others on the go. Being who she is, she tracked them all down plus his DP, let the cat well and truly out of the bag, and I think 'Scot free' is not something he's currently enjoying. LOL!

MrsWolowitz · 06/09/2014 09:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bloomingflower1 · 06/09/2014 10:31

Nearly all human beings experience guilt, though some are able to tuck it away in a box. Unfortunately for them the box lid doesn`t fit perfectly and guilt leaks out. Even couples who cheated, and then became happily married together, feel guilt years after. That is if they are honest with themselves.
For another thread, but this guilt can eat away and may manifest itself in physical illness.

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