What's wrong with me?

[happyandsingle]

I really hope someone can come along and give me some words of encouragement as I'm feeling really lonely and down at the moment. I just realized today how bad my relationship history is.
I am 35 years old and have hardly had any relationships with men worth speaking about.
I have had a five year relationship with an abusive albanian man that I strongly suspect married me mostly for a passport that ended nearly seven years ago and since then I have been bringing our dd up alone.
In march this year I met a man of pof,fell for him big time thought yes I have finally found someone I like and was so happy to be loved and wanted only for him to dump me about 3 months into our relationship for some crappy reason ( although I strongly suspect he found someone else).
It took a lot for me to get out there again and now I am finding it hard to move on from him,although a lot of it is loneliness I suspect.
What I am trying to say I guess is that most women my age seem to of had a lot more relationships than I have had and even if they didn't work out at least they were able to hold a relationship down longer than I can.
I just feel undesirable to most men. Sorry if this is coming across as a miserable post,I really do try and stay positive but feel a failure for my longest relationship being only five years when I am 35 years of age.
Need to change my username as it's not a true reflection of how I'm feeling right now.

Blimey, you're doing a lot better than me, I'm older than you and my longest relationship was nowhere near five years!

In my view, how long a relationship lasts isn't as important as what the relationship is like. Could you have held onto your abusive ex a bit longer, do you think - if you'd accepted everything he did, never questioned him, could you still be together? If so, you'd have had a 12 year long relationship. But it wouldn't be a good thing, would it? Relationships shouldn't be an endurance test!

I don't think you should change your username, I think you should focus on making it true.

Hey,

You sound v similar to me. I am the same age, came out of an eight yr abusive relationship, was with someone for 12 months but that is now over- due to me not being able to function in a " normal" relationship as I haven't dealt with all the fallout and issues I have from the abusive relationship.my ex was also from elsewhere although I don't wan to say where in case it identifies me to people.

I agree with the last poster interns of length of relationship not being important, in talking to my counsellor I have realised it's more about the impact of that relationship and how it has affected you. I am happy single somedays, others I am very miserable and down, but part of this is that I am trying to work through (with my counsellor) all the things that happened.

I think you will be fine and shouldn't give up based on the negative experiences you have. It can be nice to be single. I do feel free and safe being single and hopefully in time will find the right person. At the moment I am working on being happy and dealing with day to ay things.

I don't have a lot of experiences with relationships but that doesn't bother me, it's more that I'm annoyed and upset I made the wrong choices.

35 isn't old, you have plenty of time to find the right person, make the most of the time you have to make yourself happy, I know it's not easy. Five years is a long time in a relationship and not a failure at all xxx

Thanks for the replies. In answer to the first post my abusive ex actually left me for another woman,also happened to be pregnant with our child at the time.
And sad as it is,I would of never left him so if he hadn't left me would prob still be with him today as I was madly in love with him despite the abuse-crazy as that sounds.
Another problem I have is that whenever someone breaks up with me I find it hard to let go of them and get attached to someone very quickly.