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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ironic AD side effects

12 replies

HoundDog · 04/09/2014 07:37

(Sorry if I'm not posting this in the right place. I wasn't too sure if there was somewhere better suited :/)

So about 2 weeks ago I started on ADs. I've had a few little side effects that have mostly faded out after a week or so (not sleeping and teeth grinding/jaw clenching), but two shit side effects remain. My libido has gone through the frigging roof. I'm not sure if that's a weird side effect, or the ADs settling me back to normal (I've always had a fairly high drive, but haven't really noticed it being so in my face before.) That by itself is fine. If it was being depressed that was subduing my drive and now it's back, awesome. Except for the second side effect.
Since I started taking the ADs, I have not been able to orgasm, at all. Not with DP, not alone. Like there's a shitty glass ceiling of "Nope, this feeling right here is fine." Is that not the most ridiculous pair of side effects?

I've always had a more eager libido than DP, but he seems to be encouraged by my sudden rise in desire. So, frankly, we've been shagging like crazy and although I love having sex with DP it is starting to frustrate me slightly. (To be honest, I DO find it slightly amusing, even thought the joke is basically at my expense.)

Has anyone had any luck with side-stepping this side effect? Does it come back after a while? The other side effects have mostly died down, whereas this one feels like it's settling in for the long haul :(
Any rays of hope anyone can fling my way? It's not so bad right now. Sex with DP is always good, so I'm not really feeling like I'm "missing out" on anything at this stage. That being said, it has only been 2 weeks. After 6 months of this I might be tearing my hair out :D
Also, I won't be offended if anyone has a laugh either - I have.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 04/09/2014 08:34

I suppose it's a question of priorities & the real 'hope' is that your depression alleviates to the point where you don't need to take medication any more. You could also go back to your GP, explain the problem, and see if there are alternatives to the particular drug they've prescribed

Meerka · 04/09/2014 09:00

It's a known side effect of ADs that they can prevent orgasm yes. Funnily enough the drug companies don't advertise that.

Not sure if it wears off or not, sorry.

Meerka · 04/09/2014 09:04

which AD is it?

musicposy · 04/09/2014 09:25

I've always had trouble with this on any ADs. I'm on fluoxetine at the moment which I found a little better than sertraline or citalopram.

One thing which helps is to have sex almost before the next dose is due, never straight afterwards. I normally take it about 10pm. Leaving it off until midnight and shagging within that time frame helps a lot. Also, being on them longer makes it a little better.

But yes, that "almost there but just not quite" feeling leaves me very cross and frustrated too.

HoundDog · 04/09/2014 10:48

Meerka When I Google the brand it comes up as Venlafaxine. It's listed pretty high up in side effects on the info pamphlet that came with it, so I knew it was possible, but hoped I would be exempt :p

I agree Cogito, that is the end game. I have an appointment with the doctor in about 2 weeks for a check up, so if it's still a problem I will mention it.

Thanks Posy. I take mine in the morning, so I that might mean more morning sex for DP haha. I shall try that and see what happens.

I don't want to put too much focus on it though, because that will just make it worse. Which is why I'm trying to laugh at the situation :D

OP posts:
Phalenopsis · 04/09/2014 11:18

I was on Venlafaxine for about 12 months. My libido went through the floor and when I did try to orgasm, it didn't happen even when masturbating. So don't worry on that score.

Your doctor should have told you that anti-depressants take a while to get into your system. It can take 6 weeks or even longer for your body to adjust to them. You might feel very 'up and down' for a while and unfortunately your sex life might suffer for the duration of time you're on the tablets.

I'd try not to worry about that for the moment. Just focus on looking after yourself by eating properly (your appetite might plummet or go through the roof or alternate between the two) and getting plenty of sleep (this might also be affected).

HoundDog · 05/09/2014 06:20

Thanks Phalenopsis. I am hoping this settles once it's all in my system, but it won't be the end of the world if it doesn't, I guess.

Sleep is definitely my best friend right about now!

OP posts:
Meerka · 05/09/2014 07:47

good luck hounddog, a really annoying pair of side effects coupled together there!

When I think back, when I tried ADs for a short time I think I had the raised libido too, but that settled back to normal. Was only on them a short time though.

musicposy · 05/09/2014 17:36

I think you've hit the nail on the head saying focusing on it makes it worse. For a while I got into a bit of a panic mode thinking "I'm not going to get there" and that made it 20x worse. Now the minute I start thinking like that I divert my brain to hot dirty film star sex or similar and that works a treat! Good luck :-)

amigagal · 05/09/2014 19:52

I mentioned it to the doctor, and they changed the ADs. If it is getting to you it might be worth it!

HoundDog · 06/09/2014 01:54

Amigagal so you had more luck with a different type?

Posy I've been trying something similar. Just focus on how awesome it is now, not aiming for anything else.

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