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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

am i in love ???

4 replies

EEYORE552000 · 22/09/2006 11:36

strange question i know. i dont know how to start this but please help!!!i lost my husband 1yr wed just gone and i dont want no-one else but i think your body must realise that you can never have him back.my dd's went for a drive with a friend of theres and his brother(step)and they brought them both back here oohhhmg he is gorgeous!!!.he comes round a lot although he does have a girlfriend i dont think she is right for him not because i fancy him but she is misserable and quite big and he is dark and slim and very bubbly and outgoing,i know they say its not what you see but what is inside but she has nothing inside,he can get better!! i dont know what to do as i am nothing to look at as i am quite big also and i know he wont like me in that way,we are very close and can talk about anything,he took me all the way down to milton keynes on friday and leeds on the friday before to see robbie,i have dropped hints that i like him but i think he just thinks i am being nice,he is also far to young for me to but he acts a lot older he is 23 i am 35 please give me any advice and ask any questions to help me.i know this may seem strange but my head is not here at all.at the moment he is living accross the road with his parents but he has just got a house on his own and i am affraid i will not see him as much and i will feel embarassed going down to visit,also this keeps playing on my mind everytime his girlfriend rings him he puts it on loudspeak so i can hear the conversation.i hope you understand this

OP posts:
Pages · 22/09/2006 11:56

I don't think this is one sided - he is clearly involved in something that's going on with you. And the age gap isn't necessarily a no no (although I don't know what your DD's reaction would be to all this?).

But I am a bit concerned that he might be getting a little bit of an ego boost at your expense and that you could end up getting hurt. It seems to me that he is playing you off against his gf a bit, and saying "which one of you lucky grils is going to get me?".

I would personally take a step back and let him get on with his relationship with his girlfriend. If it really is you that he wants let him end it with her first. If it really is love, that will happen. If it doesn't, it could be he just enjoys making you/her jealous.

I'm sorry but I knew someone like this once, he did something very similar to me and the whole thing did my head in. You don't need that after what you have been through. But it is not wrong to love someone else after your DH and there are lots of nice men out there. Make sure it is someone who deserves you.

Sorry if this wasn't what you wanted to hear. I could be completely wrong, of course (hope I am!)

mumblechum · 22/09/2006 12:08

Pages, you took the words out of my mouth. Eeyore, hang on. You're only 35 and you don't have to go out with the first man you think may be attracted to you. If all you want is a fling, then go ahead but alarm bells are ringing in my head....

tiptoes · 22/09/2006 13:07

Eeyore-how old are your dd's?

Agree with pages and mumblechum tread very carefully.He has a girlfriend at the moment and it's not fair on her .Wait and see what happens with his current relationship.

lou33 · 22/09/2006 13:17

i dont think you are in love,but he does sound as tho he likes you too

it's v flattering for a younger man to be paying you attention, especially given your circumstances, it's making you feel good, but i still dont think you love him

a crush maybe?

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