A little support needed.

[Ohbollocksandballs]

Some of you may remember my previous threads about now ex (again) DP. He was a bit of a twat if I'm honest.

Against all advice I took him back because I believed everything would change, and above all else I wanted a family for DS.

Yesterday he left again. We are meant to be moving on Saturday (which I still am). It will be a lovely new start for DS and I. I know this is right. For once it's not ended on a nasty argument. We were not in love anymore. I was constantly looking at happy couples in the street and on here and thinking 'why can't I have this?'. I will always have love for him as DS's father, but unfortunately as a couple we are toxic.

To say this is what I have wanted for a while I didn't think I would feel this damn shit. At the moment I just feel like a massive piece of me is missing and I can't imagine the future. I know it will get easier. But until then I just have to manage.

You have done the right thing. It will get easier as time goes by. Look towards a new beginning with your lovely DS.

Thankyou, and I know that you're right. These next few days will be testing im sure. I just need to keep busy and I'm sure the move will see to that.

DS really is lovely Man of the house at 7.5 months. Is that too young to ask him to take the bin out?

You will find happiness one step at a time and be gentle on yourself. Let yourself grieve for the lost dreams and remember that one day you will make fresh dreams.

The first few months can be a roller coaster of emotions, each one is valid and is a part of the healing process.

You will be ok

Good luck! you are moving on to better things honey, enjoy your son what a lovely age, relationships will come and go but your son will be the sunshine of your life forever! here's hoping really good things come your way, big hugs to you both x

Sometimes I think you have to experience the reality of what it means to have them back at home in order to know that it's not going to work out. The first time they leave, it's all so horrific and shocking that you think you can put up with anything if they'd simply change their mind. And of course you can't.... The disappointment of finding that out is still going to hurt, I'm afraid, and that feeling of 'something missing' is going to be there for some time. But be with people who love you, find plenty of things to do, be kind to yourself on the bad days, and life will gradually turn itself around for the better. Good luck

Thanks to you all for your lovely words of support. I think if anything it's learning to be on my own, which will in time be ok.

It is hard at the minute but not as hard as I thought it would be. The benefits far outweigh those of having him back. Which neither of us want anyway.

I have a lot to look forwards to. The move, returning to education, DS starting nursery and making little friends.

His family are being lovely and supportive and he is being very reasonable which is nice, makes it easier.