Feeling sorry for myself

[Pook]

I feel like such a moaner! Sorry this is long.

YEsterday I had day surgery under a local, an episiotomy and restitching. I have an 8 month old mad crawling dd who is lovely and really no trouble at all. I'm really sore now, and stuck with useless paracetomol - no lovely nurofen because b/feeding. My mother is coming over at 10, my husband went to work at 8am. I can't sit, which makes feeding really hard and dd tends to sleep on me before being transferred to cot. I'm really annoyed because I said, kind of jokingly, to dh before he went to work, that it'd be great if he could stay til my mother arrives, just so I'm not continually crawling around with dd, and to help with getting her off for her morning nap. But he just said he couldn't - and went off to work.
I know it's not major surgery, and it's not the most convenient time for his family firm for me to have had this done, because it being easter hols lots of people are off. But I just feel gutted and like saying "I've had a bloody operation, I feel like crap, we should come first today, it's only 2 hours." I'm still feeling really shaky because it was really horrible - partly I suppose because I'm still a bit oversensitive about being poked and prodded after the labour. And it's as much for his benefit as for mine because we couldn't really resume our sex life until this is resolved. It's stupid really, because generally he's been absolutely fantastic with dd and makes a real effort to make things easy for me, but sometimes I think he is really lacking in empathy and being able to see something from my point of view without me pointing it out to him myself. Perhaps I'm being demanding. It soesn't help that my sister in law, who has had numerous health problems, is an absolute martyr and lets her husband, my dh's brother, work all hours for the family firm, with my mil's help. So I feel like a complete whinger in comparison.

Anyway - that's got that off my chest. No questions really (apart from am I being unreasonable) - just wanted to blow off steam.

Pook

Just wanted to send you ((hug)) and hope you feel better soon. (And, no, I don't think you are being unreasonable either)....I think there is a fundamental difference between the genders in that men often miss the empathy/sympathy bit (goes over their heads) - and sometimes they do need things pointing out to them.....Perhaps your dh could come home from work a bit earlier instead?

Hope this makes sense, take care.

Ouch!!! Minor or not an episiotomy alone is sore and means restricted movement for a few days which with a still, quiet sleeping newborn is hard enough never mind a crawling 8 month old!

I dont think your being unreasonable at all, like you said it was only 2 hours and would have made all the difference.

Mumbojumbo is right, sometimes these things just go over their heads...

Maybe send him in for a day case and have his b**ocks cut open and stitched back together and see how active he is

I agree with Becca - especially the last line!

No you are not being unreasonable at all!!! Men however much we love them and however good they are in other ways, can be pigs sometimes. Simple as that. Oink oink.
As for the painkillers... good news! Ihave been in quite considerable pain with a broken bone and I am also breastfeeding and I have been told by my consultant that ibuprofen is ok and this was confirmed by the pharmaciist. Pharmacist actually recommended Neurofen plus. So get your mum to get you something real when she arrives.( I think if you were going to be taking it long term it wouldn't be so good but short term no problem)
I really feel for you, hope this are better soon.

Hurrah! Nurofen here I come!!!!!) Have just had salty bath and leisurely dressing, hot cross bun and a cup of coffee and feel a little more human.
Thanks for sympathy. I have to admit that I was thinking of using the b**cks analogy with dh when he returns. I sometimes think men haven't a clue what it's like to be treated as a slab of meat, however much unintentionally and without malice, by doctors etc. He just heaps all such occasions into a large folder in their brain marked "women's things" and gets on with whatever he wants to be doing. Which admittedly is usually playing with dd, so that's a blessing.

Alas impossible apparently to leave early but I did manage to get an agreement that he would take dd to doctor tomorrow for conjunctivitis remedy as I am carless at the moment. Grudging, however.....

Thanks all. I'm off to sit on my rubber ring, slowly!

Nurofen actually deserves a large