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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

harmless flirting or something more

1 reply

reallynotsure · 21/09/2006 21:59

Really need your advice on this, have discovered an email dh replied to a female work colleague, he addressed her as "hi gorgeous" and ended in "I am really looking forward to seeing you!!!! (at a work social event), I have also read another email in the past in which another female work colleague informed dh that a friend of his had blanked him because his girlfriend who dh also worked with had described dh as sleazy towards her. I have also found images on dh's mobile of a few photos taken at work with this attractive female colleague in the centre of the picture who I think maybe the colleague he had address as "gorgeous", as she was at the front of two of the photos.

We have been together for a very long time and have a very close relationship and active sex life. I confronted dh over this and he said he does sometime flirt to boost his ego as he has never felt good enough for me and always thinks I am going to find someone better. He is always the tactile loving one in our relationship and I admit that I have been cold towards him in the past, but I do genuinely love hime and this has all really shocked me.

OP posts:
confusedmum2one · 22/09/2006 11:56

Hi

I do think it's innocent flirting, the fact that your DH has admitted it and explained why goes a long way to show that it wasn't a means to an end ... a flirt to start the chase with this colleague with the idea of things going further.

However, are you comfortable with him addressing this woman like this? Did DH say he'd tame his flirting or did he see no wrong in it?

My DH has sent some flirty emails as well and I'm still having difficulty getting over it. I understand why he did it but its the trust thing now that he wont do it again I'm struggling to get on top of. I know they're only human and hopefully his heart belongs to me.

Interesting what you said about your DH feeling that he's not good enough for you, do you intend to give him more attention now? If it shocked you at least it gives you both the chance to work on these things and improve your relationship rather than you going on oblivious to it.

Shame these guys can't just TALK to us about how they feel rather than us finding out about things they've done to help them feel better!

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