Husband fucking a 20 year old, introduced her to DC!

[StaringBlankly]

This will be a rambling disjointed post due to furiousness!

H and I moved into separate houses 11 months ago, due to awful arguments affecting the DC, with the hope of reconciliation and a load of marriage counselling. He said he wasn't going to see anyone else but I could if I needed to sort my head out. I haven't dated or been with anyone in this time.

FF to this weekend, H wanted to borrow my car, he picked the kids up and I told him my weekend plans, we had tickets to an ice hockey match and I needed the car back at 5. He didn't turn answered my text with "piss off we're out". Arse hole.

DC came home the next day, I asked what they did on Saturday and DS told me he wasn't allowed to say! Came out that they spent the day with daddy's friend. A bit upset that he'd told them to lie to me, I confronted him. He told me not to be so stupid, that she's their babysitter. DC told me they spent the day together and then she spent the night! H told me that her boyfriend picked her up after dinner. He's since changed his story and now she came back at 10pm with her boyfriend, they had a few beers crashed on the floor and they both left before the kids got up. DC told me she was there for breakfast and they spent yesterday together too. H told me that they bumped into each other in a cafe,whilst she waited for her boyfriend so he invited her around for dinner - she then ditched her boyfriend for dinner with my H and DC

I am beyond furious that he didn't tell me about their new mum babysitter!

He's lying isn't he? Why is he lying? I've told him if he wants to move on then he has my blessing but I'd rather have had some warning that he was no longer interested in saving the marriage and before he introduced someone to the DC.

He's 40, he has a daughter one year younger than her.

I'd be tempted to say that if he isn't capable of looking after the DCs for 2 days without the help of a "babysitter", maybe he should a) do a parenting course, or b) have supervised contact with the children until his skills are up to scratch :/

And ask why he's even bothering to have contact with them if he's just going to hand them over to a "babysitter" straight away.

Lying twat.

Thanks all.

Feeling a bit more human this morning. Going to get the DC back to school and then sit down and start to sort this mess out.

Sending you strength and a much needed hug.

One day you will look back and think thank fuck that is all over, hopefully by then you will be sipping margaritas with not a care in the world, kids happy and life will be good.

Sound off on here as much as you need to, mn is here for you

Oh yes, there will be margaritas. As hard as it is right now, you will be so happy and there will be a lot of 'mwah ha ha' style laughing as you go from strength to strength as his clearly shallow life goes down the pan.
I hate to do the benefit train thing, but get yourself on entitled.Co.uk and see if you are able to get some financial support for a while. It is surprising how much easier it is when you realise that actually you don't need him for anything and you can manage on your own. Any tax credits etc will just be a security net until you can do it for yourself.
Get solicitors advice on joint finances- sign nothing away, and getting place a temporary informal maintenence payment- you can go on child support website for the rough calculations.
And lastly- don't lend the fuckwit your car. You are not lending it for the sake of the kids, if the arsehole has to stand on his own two feet andbtake them on the bus, it may teach him to have a bit more personal responsibility towards them and stop him palming them off to a babysitter/ trollop.

We're all behind you x

Sounds like it's time to get a good divorce lawyer. A tip I read on here was to go and see as many as you can for the free half hour - which will stop your ex from using them due to conflict of interest. Particularly if you think there are any that he would use. Not sure how it pans out with ones he has used previously though. And find and make copies of as many things as you can financially of his, write down any details of things you remember him having etc

Thank you, glad I posted