Some 'starting again at 30-something' success stories would really help me just now

[whattodonext2014]

Feeling really lost. Moved a long way from my family and friends to be with exDP. Six months in and it's over. I have a fab job so I will stay here but am 32 and the thought of finding a new relationship and building up a group of friends is terrifying. I'm not a natural extrovert but willing to push outside of my comfort zone if I just knew how. If any of you have been in a similar situation or are in one now and would like to share your experience or offer advice I would be very grateful.

OP in 2011 I was 32 when I found out my fiance of four years had been visiting gay dating sites. I realise now incredibly emotionally abusive he was and I'm glad I discovered the truth before I married him, because he'd worn me down so much I didn't feel I could do any better.

After he left I discovered a new lease of life. I refused to let what had happened make me cyncial and just 3 months later after going on a handful of internet dates I fell head over heels in love with a man who's just perfect for me. He proposed earlier this year and we're getting married in October 2015.

You've nothing to worry about

I met my DH through work at 33, I say met but really we just flirted over the phone and were both attached. We met up for work a year later when we were both single, he moved in only weeks later, we were engaged days before my 36th birthday, married when I was 37, and I had our beautiful little DS - now 3 months old - at 38 Have faith!

Lots of time!

Divorced my husband of 7 years at the age of 38 as he didn't want children ( I only decided I wanted them myself at 37). Met my lovely fiance at 39 (having kissed a few frogs in between), moved job and home to be with him and had DD at 42 (after fertility treatment). We're getting married next year. Mine's an extreme example but you have a good few years yet.

I know what you mean about not being a extrovert and difficult to make friends. I joined a running club and made several friends there. Sounds a bit daft but if you're a little shy then talking while jogging can be easier and there's not as much emphasis on eye contact and some lulls in conversation are expected as you get your breath back! Also IME they tend to be a sociable bunch.

My advice... never refuse an invite (within reason), even if it's something you wouldn't normally go for. I ended up doing dancing, serving at a beer festival, doing an army assault course and rowing a canoe amongst other things but enjoyed myself enormously and wouldn't change a thing. Can honestly say I've had the best time of my life.

Good luck.