Useless at men Some help please

[Bessiebigpants]

Im embarrassed to write this but here goes.Imet my husband at uni at 18 we were together 18 years split 2 years ago.I had loads of casual sex etc before settling down so not worried about that side but I have never been on a date, have no idea where to start with chatting up men these days in my youth I just used to drink dance and it all somehow came together.
I really like this man from local sports family based thing.Its quite social and I meet friends and he helps out with bar etc I always go with my children so can't get drunk a couple of nights ago we inadvertently left at the same time me with one of my children on his bike and him with a child that I don t think is his but may be, I ve never seen a wife or girlfriend and would expect to have because it's very family orientated.
Anyway I did some very casual chatting on the way home it turns out he lives nearby.How can I move this forwards in these circumstances I've always got the children these days I suspect also I'm not giving off the right I m single and want you signals I need to do something I know it's just a crush but I nearly passed out with the waves of lust I was feeling.But I'm really quite shy and very reserved except when I've been drinking them I'm very different.He should be there next weekend so how can I make myself appear available so to speak without making a fool of myself.I think he might be interested we have lots of eye contact whenever we do speak but, he is lovely and friendly anyway.God I sound like a teenager arghh.

Start by talking and finding out a bit more about him - especially whether he's already attached. :) Your next step is to ask him if he fancies going for a drink some time. Easy as that.

What cog said,

nice and relaxed, you might want to ask him 'so do you have a wife or a girlfriend?' first, if he says no say, 'oh thats good because i wondered if you fancied a drink?' Then make sure you exchange numbers and your away!

If that is too full on i am sure a little bit of discreet nosing about with other people who go there will let you know if he's single.

If even the thought of that reduces you to jelly then perhaps you could friend him on FB and chat to him on there but make sure that you ask him out for a drink or you will just end up chatting forever, particularly if he too is shy!

As for chatting when you are out, try to resist getting pissed, i know it makes it easier but try to just ask nice open question beginning with who, what why, when where how, Listen to his answers and take it from there. i know it sounds a bit like an interview but it does work. Like most things in life i do think its just a skill, The more you do it the easier it becomes!

good luck.

Don't forget to keep up the smile and the eye contact! Just about everybody likes to be noticed. Is he good at the sports he does? Any lightweight (sub flirting) flattery will certainly help if he is single. It would be good to find out his interests and then look rapt when he talks about them! Of course, if he isn't single, you will have to let go of the idea and back off to a polite distance.