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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Last night DH called me a 'tramp'

53 replies

AvaLou · 21/09/2006 17:05

Because when he got home at 8.30pm (DC's were long since bathed and asleep) I was in the bath having a glass of wine, and had already had another whilst watching t.v.
It resulted in a big arguement. He said a mother shouldn't drink at home, and especially not alone. I asked how 'trampish' he considers himself when he goes and sits in the pub alone for a couple of pints with a book after work.
So I am just wondering about your drinking habits, and your DH's, and your opinions please.

OP posts:
sallystrawberry · 21/09/2006 17:47

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HRHQueenOfQuotes · 21/09/2006 17:49

oh blimey in that case I'm a tramp - often here on my own for at least 1 1/2hrs after the DS's have gone to bed - and yes - I'll have a drink. DH also drinks in the house when I'm out at work (night shift I hasten to add LOL).

AvaLou · 21/09/2006 17:54

Thing is he is a lovely bloke, really kind and very liberal.

My friend just cheered me up when I emailed her at work about this . She replied 'meet on the bench at 7.30am tomorrow? You bring the box, I'll bring the special brew and fingerless gloves''

I guess I shouldn't take it too seriously maybe he was just in a bad mood.

OP posts:
beckybrastraps · 21/09/2006 18:10

Even in a bad mood...tramp? Still, different people use language differently I suppose.

LittleSarah · 21/09/2006 18:45

I drink alone! I am a single parent for one thing and I do occasionally have a couple of lovely glasses of wine of an evening.

Can't drive anyway so don't need to worry about that.

He was being an arse.

FlipFloppinRubyRioja · 21/09/2006 18:51

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AvaLou · 22/09/2006 15:43

'Lush', loving it!
He did aplogise twice and I understand it was probably flippant, but the bugger is off out to the pub tonight yet again. I've booked myself into the hairdresser tomorrow for a full restyle on him whilst he looks after the DC's , as compensation you see LOL. And my hairdresser offers glasses of wine and I will be having one or two, why ever not.

OP posts:
FlipFloppinRubyRioja · 22/09/2006 17:35

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NotQuiteCockney · 22/09/2006 17:38

Did he mean "tramp" in the "homeless" sense? Or in the "slut" sense?

Either way, how odd! And rude!

Pinkchampagne · 22/09/2006 17:43

How horrible of him to talk to you like that!

I drink alone & when I have company, infact I drink far too much!!
2 glasses of wine is hardly a sin! You sometimes need a couple to wind down once the children are in bed!

AvaLou · 22/09/2006 18:09

Preeeeeecisely my opinion, there is no harm done.
And yes he meant tramp in the
wino on a park bench sense of the word.

It was really nasty of him, he tried to justify by saying I shouldn't drink at all when at home alone with the children as it's 'irresonspible', but hell, they were in bed fast asleep and why should I not!?

OP posts:
FlipFloppinRubyRioja · 22/09/2006 18:20

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wanderingstar · 22/09/2006 19:25

Ava I think you deserved the wine in the bath - dinner cooking, children asleep...my ds3 is about to go to bed and I'm not going to think twice about opening a bottle and having a glass of chablis while my roast chicken seasoned with tarragon, onion and lemon carries on roasting in the oven...especially as dh often stays out for a drink with colleagues on a friday night.
I'd have been offended too !

colditz · 22/09/2006 19:26

Jealous. You were enjoyin yourself without his presence. How very dare you!

wanderingstar · 22/09/2006 20:08

Here I am, Chablis beside me in a glass and toddler asleep. dd reading in bed and ds1 and ds2 chilling out in front of the telly. So shoot me Ava's dh !

morningpaper · 22/09/2006 20:14

Good Lord. Did you have your Rampant Rabbit on the side of the bath as well? What a STRANGE insult to use.

When DH is out the house I ALWAYS open a bottle of wine. Even if it's only 9am.

morningpaper · 22/09/2006 20:15

Ahha I see, he meant Socially Excluded Homeless Person with Alcohol Dependency Issues.

jasper · 23/09/2006 01:54

Did he to watch Dallas?
JR used to say to his wife Sue Ellen " You're a drunk, a tramp, and an unfit mother"

MrsApronstrings · 23/09/2006 02:00

dh has gone out, busy being a tramp!

Pann · 23/09/2006 02:06

But, wasn't it meant as a compliment?

Raggydoll · 23/09/2006 08:02

i drink very little actually. but if dh is not home then i always open a bottle - its not often there is time just for me and it certianly shouldn't be wasted. i agree with whoever said he was jealous - custardo I think put it particulary well.

FrannyandZooey · 23/09/2006 08:09

Well, some people do believe that it isn't right to drink or take drugs if you are the adult in sole charge of children. I know they were asleep, but it still bothers some people. I wouldn't let a babysitter drink or take drugs while my children were asleep, for instance. Presumably though if your dh felt like this you would have known about it before and come to some agreement? If he really doesn't feel comfortable about the person in charge of his children having a drink, then I would try to compromise and work it out, rather than just telling him he is a nob, but part of the compromise would be that he came home early enough for you to have a drink whenever you felt like it.

And that name calling is not on (bizarre choice of insult, wasn't it?)

WideWebWitch · 23/09/2006 08:15

wtf? You're a tramp if you drink two glasses of wine? Blimey, I'm uber slut then. He's being highly unreasonable imo. And after 2 glasses of wine I'm sure you'd be perfectly capable IF anything happened or your children needed you. And how come he gets to sit in the pub after work? Blimey. Double standards or what. Sounds like a bit of madonna/whote thing going on here, i.e. you're a mother so there are certain things you supposely cannoy do. Does he say other stuff like this?

WideWebWitch · 23/09/2006 08:15

whore, not whote

WideWebWitch · 23/09/2006 08:19

lol at mp socially excluded etc

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