Would this annoy you..?

[shhhh]

My dh (well atm he's not this thats for sure!) was asked to go away for the weekend on a friends stag do..well I say friend, he see's him once a year iykwim.

My dh's friend is the best man and is on at dh to go with them along with another of the lads, to make up numbers. DH from the start has said no as he works long hours (leaves home 6.30am to homea round 7/8pm) and as he's self emp he has started to work some saturdays to get extra money in. Our ds2b is due next jan so dh wants money behind us so he can take time off work iykwim.

Anyway dh has just emailed me asking if I'm ok with him going away this weekend. He plans to go on saturday around 5pm to return sunday. So the chances are that our plans of a quite family weekend with us and dd won't go as planned.
Oh but he still expects me to do the "chore" of visiting il's before he goes, basically yet another weekend spent rushing about.

Just to make you aware dh is stopping away tonight as a friend from work is leaving and they are off out..oh and he's out next saturday with the lads for their usual night out.

I'm 21 weeks pregnant with a 16 month old dd and a sahm so my social life is no existant not only due to pregnancy but due to friends who have kids/work etc.

Thing is dh asks me in a way to make "me feel bad". Oh theres only x going and thats not fair for someone stag do...even though it's his own fault for arranging it 2 weeks ago.

Yeah yeah maybe hormones are to blame but I feel that time is running out before ds2b is due and we have so much to do...I feel like I;m living for everyone else..?

Whats your views..?

Sorry it's long and if you've followed it welldone..!!

Arrange your own time out for the following weekend!

thing is I hate this "girls go out" "boys go out" thing. I feel that we should be doing things as a couple/s and me going out means I see even less of dh. Also being pregnant and looking aftre dd going out at w/e's is the last thing I want to do.!

I suppose I just want dh to realise that his family should come 1st and that i'm the one doing "everything".

I agree with fairyjay that a fair exchange is probably better than stopping him going out altogether, although I know only too well that getting out yourself is easier said than done. Could he take your dd out for the day or even overnight to give you some time to yourself or to get some mates around? That way you don't feel that the situation is so unfair, but he won't sit at home sulking, eventually making you wish he'd go out after all just to give you a break!

dh would love nothing more than to have dd for the day etc BUT I don't feel thats fair given the fact that we hardly have time together as a family.

I don't mind him going out usually BUT it's when it's planned last minute and my plans go to pot..thats what annoys me. When he comes home and moans he's tired and wants bed or moans that he never see's dd and that weekends are his time. I want to see my dh and spend time with him not turn around and go out with the girls and vice versa.

What fun can I have at 5 months pregnant..?! Feeling fat, tired, emotional and hey ho on top of that I can't even drink.Do blokes have this issues EVER.?!!

I think the thing that would tick me off most about it is the short notice. Ie no time for you to decide to go and see and old school mate for the weekend or have your family over and do something nice for you whilst he's off enjoying himself. To be brutally honest, I'd discourage him from going. It doesn't sound much like he really wants to go, either, not really.

I agree about spending time together both as a family and having dates. Can you arrange to go out for a meal ( doesn't have to be flash), a film or a comedy night in the next couple of weeks?

I wouldn't mind if he went TBH, but I would suggest that he takes DD to his parents alone, so you can put your feet up for a few hours. And I would also insist on a huge box of chocs to help while away the hours!