I learned something very important in my life. I learned that people need money, but it's bad to have too much money. I realized that someone with a lot of money, doesn't have anything else but money. The thing is money changes people in a bad way. It will make them believe that money is everything. They will feel powerful and overly proud. They will have more people around them, but no real friends, just people taking advantage of the 'good' life. They have a better chance of finding woman or man in their lives, mostly just for the money. But, if they do find someone who really loves them, the relationship will be destroyed once again because of the money. The thing is when you have money you think that's all you need. You want people to depend on you thinking that will keep them in your life. And you'll feel like you can do whatever you want, cause they will equally stay in your life, because they need you. I guess a real advantage taking person will stay very long, only focusing on the material. But the ones that really fall for you, will be very hurt and unhappy around you and it won't take long for them to leave you.
Let me tell you my story and why i've come to this conclusion.
I've been in a few relationships before with men that didn't have much money.. Now for the first time I'm in a relationship with a man that actually is pretty successful. I never liked the idea of being a depended person. But in this case this man didn't like the idea of me working. Alright, the thing is I really fell in love with him, we're almost 3 years together now and we have a 1 year old baby together. He even proposed to me, but then called it off.. I've been trough a lot with this man.. I've been cheated on, treated badly for no reason and we just have a lot of fights I never understood why. At first i was trying to change myself and my ways to avoid fights, believing maybe i was the problem.. But the fights kept coming no Matter what i did.. Then i started realizing his work stresses him al lot out, so i thought i could do something by showing him my love and trying to relax him.,, that didn't make any difference. Most of the time i was believing he didn't actually love me, but just didn't want to be alone. But i guess that's not it either, cause when he actually shows me he loves me, he really does, and there is no possible way he could be faking that. So i do believe he genuinely loves me. So the fights didn't stop and i kept receiving to much unfair treatments of him. Then I started to see he tends to forget a lot, he actually has a big problem of remembering things and then gets in a really abnormal way mad when you tell him something didn't go the way he's remembering or if he just forgot something and you tell him he forgot. He will just get all crazy assuring you no one told him anything in the first place.
These little discussions always lead to really big fights in which he will not be talking to me for weeks. Then he'll just start acting normal again as if nothing ever happened. And mostly i just let it go, just cause i don't like us to be in a fight. Other then that he can also flip over anything else, but never a real reason. So i find myself getting in trouble a lot, without even trying to. And then he will ignore me for weeks and just go partying and doing things on purpose to hurt me.
Most of the time i felt really hurt and couldn't understand anything, i just felt that everything was so unfair to me. But i guess i kept trying, cause i knew he loved me and i didn't want our daughter to grow up without her father. The thing is,, i always thought love is the solution and that together we will find a way to make it work. Now after these 3 years of trying everything i know for sure there will not be not one change. He also has the problem of using cocaine, although he claims not to be addicted and not to be using it that often(i'm not sure if I believe that). So i thought this issue had a lot to do with his behavior. But I don't think that's the only problem, i believe he has a real issue.. Like a bipolar disorder, i always suspected it in the back of my mind, but thought that's not a fair conclusion. But now his brothers and some people whom know him for long also confessed to me they suspect this.
There have been to many times i was convinced i would leave him. I am actually still convinced it's a must to leave him, now mostly because things have gotten out of control and he has done awful things in front of the kids and to the kids. But, as the good person i can't help to be, i thought it wouldn't be fair to leave before giving him the last and only chance left, witch is taking him to a psychiatrist to help see what the real problem is and how to find a way to make things better.
So he accepted to start the sessions. We went to our first meeting together, witch was pretty hard and for me to short. I'm kind of in a rush for solutions, cause i'm in a bigger rush to leave him. So for me 30 minutes where to little i really wanted to tell the psychiatrist everything at once. That meeting was over so we had to wait 2 weeks for another meeting. Of course in those two weeks a lot happened again making me even more rushy for the next meeting. So the day came and we had to go again. He cancelled his meeting without giving a reason, so i was the only one to attempt. The meeting went well I guess, i let a few thing of my chest, but the fact he cancelled has me really inpatient and feeling even more that i should give up all this bullshit and just leave!
And then After the meeting I started thinking.. And thinking.. If i go, it's true.. I won't have the same easy life i have now.. I would have to work so the kids could eat everyday and have a shelter. But I really don't mind living like that. In the past i've always lived like that and it never bothered me, in fact it makes me feel better about myself and proud. And then the light went on in my head! What if he treats me like this because he thinks i don't want to live less luxuries? Of course! He don't want me to work, he needs to be felt like he's the one with power, he craves dependent woman, it's the only way he could feel useful. And this means money overpowered his brain. He can no longer see the difference between real love and fake love around him, therefor he'll always have doubts about everyone and thinks he should hurt others before they hurt him! And witch independent woman will stay after getting hurt over and over again? None! In this case i've let myself become dependent of him, by accepting not to work also in order to avoid conflicts. But I'm done I'm sick and tired of these treatments and just can't take this anymore.. Even though i will have a little guilt of not going all the way and keep trying to make us finish the sessions.. My body and soul just can't take it anymore. I'll just get a job and take care of the kids like it's supposed to be. There will be some struggle, but nothing compared to what we've been trough with him.
And when I'm ready to find love again, I will assure you that he won't be a wealthy man!
Bottom-line; too much money is bad! It overpowers your brain!