I have written on a few threads here about how I don?t want to have sex very often. I accept that it has to happen to keep our relationship on a even keel and I quite enjoy it when it happens but I never get that wonderful feeling when you just know you?ve got to have a sh*g IFKWIM!! DH never lets up ? he doesn?t ask directly (I am the one who makes the first move normally because he fears rejection so I feel I have to) but he is constantly dropping hints ? he often buys me little presents that I don?t want ? underwear, a bikini line trimmer last week ?cos he likes to do that for me, massage oil ? I just feel under pressure because of them. So I feel I can?t relax when I?m at home with him when the kids are asleep. I do appreciate that it's difficult for him too.
Came to a head (so to speak!) on Tuesday. He rang me at lunchtime and told me he had been thinking about me all day - in the tone of voice that made it quite clear what he was thinking about! I said something and he objected to my tone of voice ? I said I was tired and he got in a strop. Came home and we started to bicker about it. Then finally he said that this was the situation we were in 2 years ago - I can?t believe that it?s still the same! So I let rip! Yes it?s still the same ? I STILL have 3 kids and a nearly full-time job, I STILL get the kids up and dressed and ready for school on my own, I STILL do the school run, I STILL have to take DS#2 to nursery (and leave him crying often), I STILL have to work 6 hours, I STILL have to pick the kids up and cope with the strops ?cos they are tired, I STILL have to pick DS#2 up from nursery, I STILL have to sort out lunchboxes for kids and me and get dinner ready for 5 people, I STILL have to fight the eating dinner battle with DS# and DD. Then DH gets home and has a shower. DH and I eat. Half an hours lull while I try to tidy the house a bit and get uniform ready for next day. Then I STILL have to do bedtime on my own ?cos the kids are so used to me doing it they don?t want DH to do it ? you?d think that would bother him wouldn?t you. That?s assuming they don?t all need baths that night ? which DH might help with a bit. And at some point one of us will tackle DS#1?s homework ? hell on earth! Then several nights a week DH goes out and I?m glad he does because that means when the kids are in bed I have some time to myself and I can do what I want. By this time I?m knackered and just need to chill. We?re broke! Our house is a tip! And he wants to know why I STILL don?t want to have sex with him!!!
OK, he works longer days than me so can?t do all that much to help about school runs etc and it is a hard physical job but he chose to do that. He?s a primary school teacher FFS! He doesn?t HAVE to work on a building site. We did have sex that night and it was quite good. But telling him just how angry and frustrated I am felt a hell of a lot better?.. Hope it makes some difference long term. But we?ve been here before. Sometimes it feels like a carousel that just comes round to the same place every time.