I am one of three adult children who live quite a distance from our mother. The fourth lives in the same town, and he is the only child my mother is interested in. She phones him or sees him every night. My sister and I see our mother once a year, always at our behest. My mum and I speak about once a week. When she phones, it feels like a box ticking exercise. She tells me she loves me, but again, this feels like a boxticking exercise. She does very little to show this. She is not nasty by any means, but completely devoid of any interest in my life. My partner died and she said she was too ill to come to the funeral. I have been going through a horrible legal battle for several years, and truly, I have had no support. My mum never asks me how I am. When she phones, she will go into great detail over her latest ailment or the latest thing she's had done to the house. She's a very lonely woman who's had a hard, sad life, but she's never done anything to try and become happier. My son adores her and I can't understand why she doesn't want more contact with him. My brother, who lives in Ireland, has two children she's never even met. She had arranged to visit them a few years ago and then changed her mind at the last minute, and I honestly believe it was just because it was too much effort. My brother has since cut off all contact with her. I feel very sad. When we do talk it is just to exchange pleasantries. Nothing too deep or honest, as then all my resentment would come spewing out.