Hindsight is 20/20

[onceinagoldenmoon]

I know there's quite a few threads related to emotionally abusive relationships and spotting red flags. the the red flag one really stood out for me as i had no idea back then what constituted abuse or bullying behaviour but i do now and sometimes wish i could travel back in time to shake myself for all the signs i didn't see or didn't want to see

so here's a thread asking what relationship advice would you have given yourself back then. prior to the shit storm that ensued.

for me: i would have liked to have a little more faith in myself, that i would be ok and didn't need someone to validate my life.

i don't need to explain myself or apologise for feeling the way i do.

i don't need to take on other people's disappointment in me. i am the only one who needs to approve of me.

i don't need to take on responsibility for other people's feelings, choices and responses.

I tell myself not to be too embarrassed to tell people exactly what I was living with behind closed doors

I'd tell the person who I had managed to explain exactly how I felt to, who had then turned around and told that I was wrong and I felt the exact opposite of what I had just said, to fk right off you arrogant prick

Stop making excuses, things will never change.

I'm still telling myself this, and it's still not changing

That if you think something is wrong, then it almost certainly is. Do not ignore the little voices of warning, one day they will turn into massive screams.

Little displays of temper become bigger ones and become directed at you.

If he yells at children, he WILL yell at you.

Trust, but verify.

If he says the world is out to get him, he's probably lying. There's one common denominator in all his problems and it isn't the world.