How to withdraw from friendship without drama

[VirtualPointyHat]

I have a friend A, and am getting pretty fed up with her.

Don't want to go into too much detail, but:
-whenever we are with our DHs if she doesn;t want to do something I have to stay with her so she is not alone.

• last time we went to stay for the weekend we had an itinerary of specific activities planned - she invited lots of other people who then didn't want to do what we had planned, and who all knew each other so was left out
• she is often very rude about DH to me, and gets angry if I defend him, but still expects him to run around after her

So, basically I don''t really think this is a friendship and have been trying to slowly detach. We haven't spoken in 3 months. However a mutual friend has had some personal issues this week. They are constantly haranguing us to "do something". We are, but don't feel we need to justify to her what we are doing to help other friend.

Argh!

Well you said you haven't spoken in 3 months so just carry on what you're doing. Arrange something with your mutual friend if you want to but this doesn't have to include toxic friend...just don't tell her. If mutual friend says she wants toxic friend to come, I'd just tell here you'd rather she wasn't there. If you don't want this 'friendship' anymore, just be honest...sod what anyone thinks

Carry on for another 3 months. If she contacts you by txt or fb or something just reply to her in short sentences that she cant really make much conversation out of.If you bump into her in the street or something be polite but say your in a rush and got to hurry.

Its hard when you have the same group of friends ive been in the position more than once, funilly enough 1 girl when we were in our early 20s used to really do my head in had such a big mouth would say it how it is, if I knew she was going on nights out or anywhere with our mutual friends I would try and get out of it, but we are pretty good friends now we have similar aged dcs at same school and tbh id be lost without her in the playground ive really warmed to her

Thanks, you are right, remaining aloof is probably the way to go.

I'm so angry over the insistence I have to look after mutual friend I was spoiling for a fight, but you have talked me down