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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Did MN give you good advice or shit advice?

15 replies

CharlotteCollins · 27/08/2014 20:19

Open to all who've ever posted for advice, especially about their relationship(s).

I'll start - I got very good advice. Actually, I was hoping more people would say LTB and was a bit disappointed that most people seemed to think it was my decision not theirs!

Still, I grew a backbone in the end!

OP posts:
LiberalLibertines · 27/08/2014 20:21

Both! When I first joined I made the mistake of aging in AIBU and came away a bit battered and bruised!

But relationships were truly amazing when I posted in there :)

Vitalstatistix · 27/08/2014 20:27

Both.
There's a lot of people on here and a massive range of opinions and perspective.
It has been invaluable to read through it all and think about points raised before making my decision.

MirandaGoshawk · 27/08/2014 20:35

I've had great advice over the years. One thing is: pick your battles.
I had terrific advice when my teen DD wanted to get a tattoo: stick the design up by her mirror for six months & if she's not sick of it, she can have it. She now doesn't understand why she ever wanted it in the first place Smile

I see advice I don't agree with, and of course those giving advice might not know the full story, but the OP might well get a perspective she hadn't thought of before. Generally people aren't going to slavishly follow advice they get on MN but at least they'll be given food for thought. I used to post on other forums but somehow it's more friendly here (yes, really!) and we all seem to have more in common/are more able to see where others are coming from.

Phystick · 27/08/2014 20:37

Good advice. Just wish I had taken it.

Squeegle · 27/08/2014 20:43

Great perspectives on what are acceptable boundaries. I was living with a partner who drank and was regularly abusive to me. I kind of thought it was my fault. Mumsnet enabled me to realise my relationship was not at all healthy and I didn't have to live with it!

outtathefryingpan · 27/08/2014 20:50

Good advice. Helped me have confidence in how I thought the relationship was (bad). I was doubting myself and thinking I was over reacting and it was helpful to get the perspective of outside people.

I got out. Best decision ever, wish I had found MN 3 years sooner.

MirandaWest · 27/08/2014 20:51

When I posted in relationships after I found out about XHs affair I was criticised for not sounding like I cared enough. I think I was in shock. It put me off relationships a lot as I felt I was doing it all dwrong.

PacificDogwood · 27/08/2014 21:32

Great advice wrt to BFing troubles, shoes, kitchen design, child behaviour, accessories.

That list makes me sound like a mother and homemaker first and foremost which in RL I am not Grin.
Never looked for relationship advice on here.

PacificDogwood · 27/08/2014 21:32

Oh, and waterproof, warm coat! V good advice.

Letthemtalk · 27/08/2014 21:38

Bit of both. Got a flaming, some said I was a bitch and should keep my nose out, others told me to be there for him. 2 years down the line turns out she was a psychopathic cow as I suspected all along and the ones who said dB was an abuser were soooooo wrong.

TheCunkOfPhilomena · 27/08/2014 22:35

Fantastic advice and support, cannot praise the relationships board highly enough. I never thought I could survive being a LP but it's bloody brilliant 90% of the time.

MsBrunette · 27/08/2014 23:02

Shit advice.

Told me not to pursue a relationship with my EX because I looked desperate and that he had another GF.

Totally wrong, we are together and I couldn't be any happier.

Keepithidden · 27/08/2014 23:03

Not sure yet, morally sound advice and stuff that will stand me in good stead in the future. Not sure my relationship will, but MNers persuaded me to be a better person and hopefully that may be the catalyst that my life needs...

There'll be another thread like this in 2017, then I'll be able to confirm or not if it was good advice.

skyeskyeskye · 27/08/2014 23:13

Good advice to divorce asap after XH walked out after having an EA with OW. If I had waited for two years, he would now be fighting for every penny he could get, as he is now living with OW who is the puppet master and taking her own H for thousands. He also built up thousands of pounds of debt in the last two years so I could have lost the house if I hadn't divorced asap and his name now off the deeds.

I would not have divorced him immediately without the advice on here. 2 years on he is now saying that he gave me the house and that he was entitled to that money blah blah blah. Too late mate!

Daisym0use · 29/08/2014 07:53

I got some great advice only the other day which really helped me see the other angle of my worry and made me realise it wasn't really that bad at all.
Got flamed in legal a few years back and felt utterly devastated but I suspect it wasn't from a MNetter at all but some F4J freak!

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