About 7 weeks ago my DH left me claiming he'd fallen out of love with me. I wrote a seperate thread at the time but I'm not sure how to link? Anyway since then he's been diognosed with depression - we've both had a really stressful few yrs with my dad passing away, DH being made redundant then setting up and running his own business, other bereavement and illness in the family and my DH being attacked by a gang late at night and ending up in hospital. So all in all its been a really crap time. My DH said he started having doubts about us up to a year ago (just after the attack) and the lack of feelings was getting stronger and stronger until he couldn't hold it in anymore so told me things were over.
We've had a few sessions with relate and he started taking citalopram 3 weeks ago. He didn't actually realise what he had was depression until I showed him an nhs booklet and he said it could have been written about him and how he'd been feeling for the last year. Through relate he's realised that he's not just numb with his feelings towards me, it's everything such as his friends, socialising, music etc. However he's still convinced he's fallen out of love with me and as much as he hates what's happened, it's over.
I'm completely torn with how to be. We have a 2.5 year old DS and DH has been coming round to see him each evening for an hour and then sees him at weekends. So DS doesn't really know any different. We decided to do this as he's changing childminders at the start of sept which is going to be a massive change for him. We just don't want to dump this on him at the same time by having daddy suddenly disappear for a big chunk of the week here and there.
However this set up is destroying me. Seeing DH every day is messing me up more and more. I'm really trying not to but I know I'm secretly clinging to the hope that he's going to fall in love with me again. It's worse now because at first I was really angry and that was easier to deal with. Now I just feel sorry for him and worry about him. Should I be though? I feel guilty if I think of just looking after myself but the way it's going I can just see myself getting dragged down into a depression myself. I simply do not know what to do for the best. Sorry for the rambling.