Don't know how to tell DH that I'm pregnant

[WoIsMe]

After missing my period last week I did a couple of pregnancy tests which both came up positive so it looks like I'm 5 weeks pregnant with DC4. I'm simultaneously delighted because I did want another, but scared at the same time because I have MC'd before so I don't want to get my hopes up at least until I've had my 12-week scan.

It's a bit daunting having a fourth child but financially I think we can manage. We have enough space in the house although two are going to have to share, probably DC3 and DC4 as they will be closest in age. I have a seven-seater car and we have kept most of the baby stuff so I will only need to buy a few bits and pieces drat I wish I hadn't given the Jumperoo away.

So on the surface it seems like everything should be okay, certainly be better than the less than ideal circumstances which my other kids came into, for example when DC1 was born we were living below the poverty line. But I'm terrified of telling my DH as I don't think he is going to be pleased. He has a difficult job where he has to work late, evenings, weekends and travel a lot - at least once a month. Our other children all have special needs or medical conditions, nothing really serious but all requiring a bit more care than a typical child might. I had PND after my first and third pregnancies so that is always a worry. And it will be a c-section due to previous pregnancy complications so for at least the first few weeks after the baby's born, DH will have to take up a lot of the slack, he'll probably have to take some unpaid leave from work as well although I'm sure his and my family will be able to help out a bit.

I don't know, I've always told him I was pregnant straight away before but this time I can't seem to bring it up because I really think he isn't going to want another one and he isn't going to be pleased. We saw friends who have four kids yesterday and I tentatively raised the subject of "do you think we'll ever have another one" and he said no he didn't want any more.

Sorry for the long post but I wanted to get everything in. Maybe I'm misjudging him and he'll come round to the idea but my gut instinct is that he isn't going to be happy. Obviously he's going to find out sooner or later so it's going to have to come from me rather than him noticing a bump in a few weeks time.

[Lweji]

He needs to sort himself out, then, and using alcohol is really, really dangerous. Also because alcohol makes depression worse.

I think you need to be honest with him about the pregnancy and about the need for him to seek help about his possible depression, and possible alcohol abuse.
At the very least considering he should be there for his children.

At first look you could go for joint counselling to discuss it all, and move on to individual counselling for him.
Or at the very least go to the GP with him as a starting point.

But waiting 8 weeks won't make much of a difference.