Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Why do men have affairs?

43 replies

TheCODfather · 05/04/2004 16:28

I always think my dh couldnt be arsed to be unfaithful("TWO women?" he asks incredulously)unless a woman targetted him ..

what do you think?

why would some men risk it all when the marriage appears to be happy?

OP posts:

sandyballs · 05/04/2004 16:48

Because its exciting, and because it isn't "real life".

I still love and fancy my DH (we've been together 18 years), and I haven't ever been unfaithful, but I very occasionally hanker after the days when we couldn't wait to see each other and rip each others clothes off! Somewhere along the line bills, children and real life kick in and its just not as sexy is it.

Some people find it difficult to accept that change, particularly men.

Tinker · 05/04/2004 16:51

Maybe the question could be 'Why are so many people monogamous?'

bbensley · 05/04/2004 16:52

If you have an affair with a married man theres a risk you will fall in love and he could never be yours? It was just another point of view, there has to be someone to have an affair with. I agree with the boosting egos comments, don't we all need that, just some of us find other ways of doing it rather than having an affair.

dinosaur · 05/04/2004 16:53

Or "would you have an affair if you knew you wouldn't get caught"?

Fio2 · 05/04/2004 16:54

I just couldnt have an affair, I would feel sick

dinosaur · 05/04/2004 16:56

My own views have changed a lot since I had children.

I wonder if that is something to do with it - i.e. the whole pregnancy/childbirth/bonding with little ones process which obviously men don't experience in quite the same way!

Fio2 · 05/04/2004 16:56

and how we feel frumpy and they dont (my exp)

Tinker · 05/04/2004 16:57

Or just sheer exhaustion dinosaur

dinosaur · 05/04/2004 16:57

yes that is true my whole self-image really took a battering

dinosaur · 05/04/2004 16:58

LOL Tinker that is part of it as well

Tinker · 05/04/2004 17:00

Seriously, I wonder if the rate of infidelity in childless couples is more equal.

sandyballs · 05/04/2004 17:00

I almost did, with a work colleague, but thankfully came to my senses before it got that far. Felt very very guilty even considering it.
Horrible.

Fio2 · 05/04/2004 17:01

I seemed to have more sex though after birth for reason...hormones?

dinosaur · 05/04/2004 17:09

I bet it is Tinker.

dinosaur · 05/04/2004 17:28

Whoops - thread killer alert!

Fio2 · 05/04/2004 17:41

Cods you cant let dino kill the thread where are you woman?

spacemonkey · 05/04/2004 17:46

I think tinker has raised a very interesting question - why are so many people monogamous? It's easy to see why so many aren't!

Fio2 · 05/04/2004 17:49

I am monogamous because i love my husband and what we have, emotionally and the kids. I just couldnt be unfaithful at all. I love him, of course if he was unfaithufl to me I would be devastated!

Flip

1 2