I will try not to waffle on with this but I really need some outside views on this as I don't really want to speak to anyone in rl yet. I've been with my DH now for about 14 years, married for 8 and we have two children. Despite having a family my DH regularly goes out drinking - 3/4 times a week although sometimes, usually when I've said something, he'll cut it down to 2 times a week. He will always say he's not drunk but I can tell how much by how he smells of beer and by how he acts. I dont like him helping with the children when he comes back after being there although I know he thinks I'm being silly/over the top when I say this. He works and I'm now a sahm although did also work full time up to last year. I always paid the bills etc out of my wage so he never in my mind appreciated what we needed to pay out. We've been in debt now for about five years - it's all in my name since I was the one with the high paying job, good credit and owned my own place. I bought this when we were kind of split but getting back together. My credit is now shot to pieces and I'm selling the property to clear this debt. Going back to the drinking, I appreciate he is under pressure but I can't understand why when I say to him I can't live like this he continues to do it. Since I'm now not earning and rely on him for money, I have to continually ask whether he has any and he gives me some when he has it. We've missed quite a few payments because he said he doesn't have the money but he can still afford to go to the pub and to get takeaways quite often. He doesn't ever cook and very very rarely does anything round the house - usually when I'm starting to do something he'll ask if I want him to do it. He's got a short temper and will throw things and break things when he's lost it - he's never hit me though. The worrying thing though is - and I've only realised this in the last few days - my eldest son has been having tantrums this last year where he shouts and throws things which ironically DH says we have to nip in the bid - but this is exactly what he does! We also differ in our attitude to discipline - he's pro smacking whereas I'm against that but I think he thinks I'm too soft. When he's out drinking he says he'll be back by a certain time but there's always some reason why this doesn't happen - he doesn't text to say he'll be late and now doesn't apologise or explain when he gets home. I think he's now just thinking why bother when I'm p'd off anyway! I've said now a number of times I can't live this way and he needs to change but he's still doing it. I know it's probably coming across as if I'm listing all his faults - he is good with our eldest occasionally and does do the occasional thing round the house and make the occasional cup of coffee. I know that I can't be that easy to live with - I get moody but usually only when there's a reason. I do go on about money as well but someone has to. Please could I have some objective views as to this situation - I'm seriously considering my options at the moment but I'm worried about the impact on the children.