OMG - this'll be hard ....

[Crystaltips]

DH's great aunt died yesterday, and the funeral is tomorrow ....

Problem is DH is away on business and he wants me to go and represent him .....

trouble is - the rest of his family will be there and we haven't spoken for about 6 years ...

Yikes what the hell do I do ???
DO I have to go back to the house afterwards ?
I am crapping myself ....

you dont have to go to the house afterwards imo

just go to the funeral and pay your respects then make your excuses and leave

good luck and i am sorry to hear your news

There's no rule that says you have to go back to the house.Why not play it by ear when you get there?

Sit at the back with blonde wig and sunglasses

Why does your DH expect you to go? It is sad that he has lost his aunt but the living need to be cared for and that means you. I think he's asking too much of you.

His great aunt was a wonderful and graciuos lady. I would definitely have gone with him.

if you go to the funeral (the important bit) and not the house, you won't have to speak to them.

Sit near the back, don't turn up early, leave promptly.

I'm the only one in the DH's family who didn't fall out with her ... all to do with money ... his lot are a greedy meddling lot. They wouldn't speak to her because they fell out with her son.

SHe remained dignified and gentle until the end.

I see. I didn't realise from you OP that you were so fond of this lady and wanted to be there.

In that case I agree with everyone else. Keep a low profile and play it by ear. Good luck.

sorry anorak ... thinking out loud IYKWIM ....

Mulling it all over

That is what mumsnet's for

ditto CarolinaMoon. The important bit is the service, to pay your respects and say goodbye. The rest is not important and should be avoided given the circumstances.

Well .... I went !
Had to go through a receiving line and her family ( her children and their husbands and her grand children ) were delightful.
PIL and BIL where there and I managed to avoid them both. But they both knew that I was there.

I sat at the back.

I made a quick getaway after the service as I didn't know anybody else there to chat to.

I am pleased that I went .... but it drained me.

But it made me realise how much I apprecaite my own family who are living so far away.
And what a wasted opportunity we have with DH's family on the doorstep - but at loggerheads with each other and [cross]

Well done CT. Good sense of achievement I hope.

Good for you CT. You did the decent thing

well done CT