How exactly does one chat up a guy on Facebook?

[oriG1Nal]

I have a huge crush on a guy who I met irl over a year ago. We have several mutual friends, including my older brother. I'm not comfortable letting any of our mutual friends (esp. my bro!) know of my feelings so cannot enlist them to help me with this. I would of course prefer talking to him face to face, but I don't see him that often and whenever i do, he's always surrounded by a bunch of other people. And I'm fairly shy.

I have no idea if he's interested in me or not. The last time i saw him in a pub I was walking past him (hadn't realised he was there) and felt like someone was staring at me. I looked at his direction and he was just turning his head away from me, then he probably realised I had noticed him and turned back again and this time looked at me in the eyes for what felt like an eternity (that's a sign of interest, right? Or he could've been stoned, who knows.. ) I smiled at him and said hi, he said hi back, but didn't really smile. He didn't look unfriendly or anything, but surely you would flash a smile to someone you're interested in?

Anyway, I finally got the courage to send him a friend request on FB on friday night and he accepted it immediately. Can't get too excited about that though, because he's got a 4-figure number of friends in there, so he probably accepts all the friend requests he gets without a second thought. I spent the weekend going through his page, he's definitely single, definitely straight and between the lines I got the impression he wouldn't mind meeting someone.

But i just don't know how to start a casual conversation online with someone I barely know? Also I think I'd be mortified if he didn't reply at all
I know I'm overthinking this but I can't help myself

I'd start commenting randomly on posts he makes. Keep it jokey and lighthearted. "Like" most stuff he posts but not everything or you'll appear stalkerish :)

That's how I started flirting with my ex anyway.... (that was a bit of a disaster but not because of anything I did on Facebook!)

1. Comment on a few of his recent photos - preferably asking a question so that he has to reply
2. Keep 'liking' anything he posts
3. Turn on chat and say hi when you see him online

How often do you see him irl? Just send him a message saying Hello and something about how you think it's probably a little silly being friends on fb without actually contacting each other.
How long ago was it that you saw him? Could you mention that night? Did he have a good time??? That sort of thing?
Good luck, it's bad enough chatting to people on dating sites and that's what they are there for!

Oh god I wouldn't keep liking stuff

I would just send a

Hey, how are you blah due blah message

Ah but if he's worth having a crush on then he won't be posting stupid stuff that isn't worth liking!

Oh yes, ALL the stuff he posts are something I could sincerely like. He's so good with words, really made me laugh just reading his status updates. I'm REALLY concerned about appearing stalkerish. Although to be fair, that's exactly what I'm doing now, stalking him!

It was about 3 weeks ago when I last saw him. He might not even remember it anymore..

Is it okay to like his old profile pictures? I mean, do I want him to know that I've been checking out his photo albums, or is that just creepy?

Take the plunge and comment something. See if you can get a conversation going.

I wouldn't comment old stuff. Wait until something new comes along.

I suppose I'll have to be patient and wait until he comes online. Not that I've been checkin every 3 minutes or so. Oh nooo..

I wouldn't comment on old stuff either. Wait for new stuff. Otherwise he'll think you're creeping through his old stuff and it's a bit weird

Post some stuff yourself. Not loads but a couple of things here or there. Maybe some music you think he (and you) like. A nice new profile photo of yourself.... that kind of thing. It will come up in his news feed. It's like subliminal advertising

like others have said comment on statuses, links, photos etc but would avoid any old posts. Make it something he can reply to.

Did anything interesting happened that night you saw him out? That you could maybe put in a chat message you know along the lines of "omg youll never guess what happened after i saw you" that sort of thing, just an idea :)

It sounds as if you've made the first move in adding him, perhaps turn on chat and see if he comes and says anything? I don't think it should be turn taking but you could take the pressure off yourself for a little while if you decide to sit back and see. And maybe post a few fabulous shots of yourself in the meantime :-)

I would post fabulous witty stuff on my time line. .not loads so that it looks like you live your life through FB then send him a private message referring to last time you saw him & a how are you chatty message.
Going against the grain here but I think liking lots of his posts could look a bit weird.

I wouldn't bother liking lots of stuff. Liking doesn't open a conversation. I'd just comment something in a way that opens the conversation.

Thank you all! I've liked one of his new photos, just to show him I'm around. I've now logged off the FB and sitting on my hands. I really don't want to be that person who likes absolutely everything!

I have just discovered there's an upcoming event in the pub he frequents that his friend is organising, so I may have a chance to meet him again on friday next week. 10 days seems like a lifetime at the moment!

I think, even if he will be there, I once again won't get a chance to talk to him one-to-one, but maybe I can ask him about the event/if he'll be there beforehand. I'd have to wait until next week to start the conversation about it though, won't I? impatient

I was in a longterm relationship when FB became a "thing". It ended 4 years ago but I haven't felt ready to start dating again until recently, so this is definitely all very new to me!

Start up a pm conversation asking how he is these days.
I get quite a few new 'friends' who do that.

Don't bother liking loads of posts or photos, that will get you nowhere.

I wouldn't like his stuff either. Just send him a message saying 'hi how are you etc.'

I'd strongly advise not posting anything on FB. It is there for life and a harrowing reminder if it goes pear shaped.
Why can't you say something to your friends or brother? Surely it would be far less embarrassing than " liking" him on facebook as people will come to their own conclusions if your name keeps popping .

Well the mutual friends are not my close friends, more like people I know through my brother (I don't really have friends of my own at my home town, because I only moved back here last year after living far away for a decade). My brother is lovely, but slightly over-protective when it comes to me & men :) He doesn't use FB, so I'm not worried he'll find out about my likes. But as I said, I have only liked one photo on his profile. Should I be embarrassad about it?

Just msg him and tell him you want to sit on his face! I mean he’d probably appreciate the honestly ! 🙈😂🙌🏼

@Cropped23 this is a zombie thread from 2013.

Also, lovely