How long did it take for you to get over your ex?

[quirkycutekitch]

OH split up with me in March, we have one DS (3). We'd been together for 13 years and were due to get married next April.

We're still in the process of splitting up in some ways such as we haven't sold the house we bought together yet.

So when will I stop caring who he is with or if he's got a girlfriend - voices of experience please!

thanks

I think the rule of thumb is one month per year together.

I was happy, happy, happy to break up with my ex, but still cried for a couple of days. I got together with DH two weeks after splitting but it wasn't until I'd sorted the property issue out with ex that I got over the split (not that I wanted him, but felt bitter that I had to fight for the house I'd put most into...once it was signed over, I relaxed).

I think it is probably one of those "how long is a piece of string..." things unfortunately :(. With my ex, he had been such an arse prior to split (due to his affair) that it didn't take too long for me emotionally as I was already not in love with him but he did create hassle for me so that kept me feeling emotionally tied in some ways. It was a year after I actually moved out that I felt ready to date (not too seriously) again.

One thing my friend's waxing lady (random!) said was that her ex put her through hell then she had to see him often due to child drop offs/pick ups and that was awful for her (and he was a pain) BUT she feels the healing has been more complete and the scars more sealed due to the fact she has had to keep seeing him. She has HAD to properly get over him, she hasn't been able to "just" forget and I do get that. So I hope that might provide some measure of comfort. And I think things do improve when living arrangements etc are more sorted. Until then there is that element of feeling in limbo. Hope things get better for you soon.

It took me two years to lose interest in XH and OW. That's after 15 years as a couple and 3 years of friendship prior to that. During those two years I changed my social life, I dated loads, had lots of amazing sex and totally transformed everything about my life. It was harder than anything I've ever done but I was not going to sit and whimper for the rest of my life. My heartbreak thread on here got me through too.

Thanks for the replies!

'Raspberry' I have thought it would be so much easier if I didn't have to see him 4 times a week - and just have nothing more to do with him! Wise waxing lady!

Yes feeling a bit in limbo but also scared about what's going to happen in the future and where me and my son will live!

'Before' Two years sounds doable! Not ready to date yet though! Can't imagine having feelings like that for anyone else!

Try Meetup and Citysocialiser if they're in your area - just google them. They are great ways of getting out and doing non-dating stuff. I always go for mainly female groups on Meetup these days and I've had fab walks and days out. In the early says I used Citysocial for dancing, quizzes and dinners. I'm in London so had a bit of choice and I think the groups vary depending on your region.

I've heard of meetup - but not the citysocialiser - will have a look at that thanks.