Is this to game playing or PA to actually follow through with??

[LittleMissRayofHope]

My recent thread here

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a2163794-Opinion-please-This-caught-me-off-guard?msgid=49021654#49021654

Hope that link worked as on phone!

In a nutshell god those who can't be bothered to read it:
DH and I bought a car that was more expensive then I wanted which I decided to go along with for his happiness as he wanted it far more then I did. I used this as a fact in a row to show how I don't 'always have everything my way'.
Result is he is saying sell the car because he isn't comfortable with me having done it just to make him happy.

So to my point: I'm not happy about this. We spent the time and money getting said vehicle, tax, insurance etc. Due DS is 3/4 weeks and it feels like Emotional manipulation to ensure I never bring this type of stuff up in the future.
I have decided to myself that if he insists on selling then all precious compromises also need undoing.
I've done things to make him happy in the past that I wouldn't have done otherwise so why is this one particular ins different.

He is Muslim and wants an Islamic name for DS. I'm not Muslim and therefore don't NEED the name in the same way. I am only doing it to make him happy. Of course I will be happy with the name aswell but it has ruled out names I've always liked and wanted so there is my compromise got dh's happiness.

Is this too PA of me? Or does it seem like a big game? I want to make my point to him that he can't manipulate me this way, and the only way to do that seems to play him at his own game??

I know I'll get a lot of 'ltb' 'this is unhealthy and will get worse' etc but all that aside I genuinely wonder about this idea? And just want views please

I think that if you are having a child together then you will both need to grow up.

If you feel the only way to get through to him is play him at his own game, it will be a ltb from me. What's the point of a relationship if you cannot get what you need from your partner without manipulation? If, on the other hand, you want to show him that his game playing isn't working on you anymore, I would let him follow through with all his wild threats without batting an eyelid. He wants to sell the car? Act as if the decision has been made and start looking for a car you do like. I do think the usual outcome of that tactic is that you start to genuinely detach from his manipulations, which makes it easier to ltb or cut his silly games short.

No, I wouldn't start to play games, it's pointless and not good for the relationship. Let him get on with selling the car and waste his money if that is what he wants to do. His actions, his consequences.

Thanks, I have been detaching from his games. I told him to sell and he got quite grumpy about it.

It's the frustration of his narrow mindedness that makes me want to demonstrate to him what he is doing to me. I have explained my point to him but it's as if he is unable to comprehend it and therefore I feel like showing him how stupid and unfair it is.

Partly why I am voicing it here first though. I just feel frustrated and backed into a corner

It is emotional manipulation.

The answer isnt to start sinking to the same level but to find some way of sorting it or her out.

Tit for tat like this make a shitty life for you and any children being dragged up thinking this is an example of a healthy relationship.

Her out should be get out weird autocorrect

You probably feel like you're banging your hands on a closed door, but truth is you can't make somebody understand you. You've explained how his actions make you feel. If he was interested in looking at them from your point of view, he would've heard you.

Playing him at his own game is not going to make him see the light, because to him it will just be further proof that you're short-changing him in this relationship. His feelings are much more important than yours, you see.