Inheritance - in my name only?

[Kaliani]

I feel a bit of a fraud posting this in here, considering what other posters are going through, but I didn't know where else to put it.

My lovely Nanna died about a fortnight ago. In her will, she has left me the house we live in, which initially I, and then later DH and I rented from her. Just for some background, I bought the house in 2004 with my first husband, and then my Nanna bought it when he left, so DD and I would not have to move. I rented it from her until 2010, when now DH moved in with DD and I.

Herein lies the rub. Both my parents and DH are insisting the house goes into my sole name. I feel this is somewhat unfair, as when I met DH, I was a single parent on benefits. He has paid the rent, and every other bill, every month since he moved in, including the months he was the sole wage earner, before I went back to work. I feel it should go into our joint names, but DH is saying that my Nanna would have wanted me to have it as security, and that he bought no money into this relationship, so doesn't expect, at this point, to have anything should it end. We were planning to buy the house from her just before she died, and he would have course owned half of that.

This is most definitely a first world problem, I understand that. I just feel so uncomfortable having the house in my sole name, when he supported both DD and I for the first year or so, and has willingly given his whole wage into the family pot ever since. It's not yet causing rows between us, but both of us think we are right, and I can't see a way forward. The executor of the will has said it is my decision.

I would go with what the others want just to keep the peace. It is a difficult time for all of you, feelings are strong and judgment sometimes out of kilter so go along with Nanna's plan and deal with your conscience later.

You sound like a lovely family, don't upset the equilibrium.

If you are married and have children it doesn't matter whose name the house is in, if you split it would be considered a joint marital asset. So you can go with the flow and put it in your name for now knowing dh really has equal shares.

Could you accept this for now, but then talk to your DH later about how to divide things more equally? It sounds like he doesn't want to take away your security that you & DD have. there are all sorts of ways to co-own houses, and it may well be simpler to have the name in your house for now, then to look at how to divide it so that his contribution is recognised, without jeopardising the security you currently have.

Do you have any spare money left over each month? Could there be some money put into savings to balance out the equity he could be building up in the house? A solicitor who specializes in this would have some suggestions, but may not be able to act until the will was settled anyway.

We are married, but DD isn't DH's child. He is absolutely adamant it is to go in my sole name, and he would like to arrange something with the solicitor now to say that in the event we do split, he has no claim on the house.

The plan he has put forward, is for us to save what we would have been paying in rent - approx £650 per month, to use as a deposit on a house we will buy together, and to then rent out the one I am set to inherit. This does sugar the pill a little, but its going to take a good few years to build a decent deposit for that to happen, and should we split in the meantime, he's left with nothing.

Having been a lurker on this board for a few years has clouded my view a little. I see all the time of women shafted by their husbands etc, and the view generally seems to be that assets should be in joint names. I guess this is the reverse of that, and I don't want him, or his contribution over the last 3 years to be overlooked.

My parents are coming at this with a view that I was pretty shafted once before, by my XH, and this prevents anything like that happening again.

What it really does is give you the power. There is nothing to stop you selling the house if you split and offering him a%of the profits (however much you think is fair).

Obviously he wouldn't have to accept but that's his business really.

As you're married I should think even without children he'd have some claim on the house regardless.

This is what makes the world beautiful, people like you and your DH.

Sorry, no simple solutions, but you are obviously both lovely people and I hope the question of you splitting up does not arise.

I would just put it in your name as he is adamant. He's just trying to do what's best for your dd. you can always look at it again if you have any more dc. Or it might never ever be an issue.

I would suggest you both go to a solicitor, get some advice, and see how you can handle the transfer of the house ownership so that you are all reassured of your status in the matter. He doesn't want to be seen as muscling in on your inheritance which is highly commendable and you don't want to exclude him from it either - equally noble. I'm probably wrong but I think inherited assets aren't automatically classed as a 'marital asset' in the event of divorce, for example. Divorce aside, there is your DD's inheritance to think of. Perhaps what you really need here is some kind of trust fund arrangement linked to a new will so that, if you pre-decease your DH, your DD benefits from the value of the property rather than it all going to him? Do you have wills?

As your DH is happy with it being in your name only, I would do it.

Could you put the deposit savings in an account and do some legal paperwork that he gets 75% of it (or some amount) in recognition of his contributions to the inherited house in the event you split up before another house is purchased? Once purchased, the house owned 50/50.

I'm sorry for your loss. Your Nanna sounds like she was lovely.

I am sorry for your loss.

I would feel the same way as your dh. I think it's natural, I also think his idea is a good one. Save £650 per month minimum, he continues to pay the bills. He isn't left with nothing he would get some of the £650s that he has saved each month, if you split in 5 years that's a very tidy sum.

If the house hadn't been left to you, then he wouldn't have rent free living. Your nannas gift will allow him to get on the property ladder. If the gift had not occurred then presumably he would be paying rent elsewhere. And not saving £650 pm.

If you and your dh died you need to ensure your cd gets this property. See a solicitor, write a will and get it drawn up to protect the asset your manna kindly left you.

Too many women are soft when it comes to money. Presumably you will never get this type of money again in your life. You nanna left the house to you so she could continue to take care of you when she was no longer around to do so, respect her wishes. Your nanna was a very thoughtful lady.

Yes do go and see a solicitor as whether yiuve just got it in your name or not, these are marital assets. Also consider the idea of formalizing splitting any gains in value since you inherited the house.

You should see a solicitor and financial advisor. As you are married, there are legalities in place that says your inheritance is a joint marital asset. The lawyers will best advise how to structure this, if there is anything that can be fine - like a declaration of trust and also a prenup might be worth considering. Also it is important to revise your wills given that your daughter is not your dh. You might want her inheritance ring fenced.

Yes, I was thinking about advising the OP to get wills done too. OP, if you were both to die of, say, the ebola virus or in a car accident, and you went first, without a will all of your estate would pass to his next of kin, not your DD.

Go and see a solicitor. I think if you want to recognise his financial support of you in the first year, you can agree an amount that is determined as his share and the remainder as yours, that way if he leaves for whatever reason a few years down the line, you can raise a mortgage and buy him out if necessary. No one likes to think of the worst case scenario or to be thought of as grasping, but where security is concerned, it's your DD's future you're gambling with. Best not to, IMO.

Accept this token of your DH's love and care for you, and this gesture that he has chosen to demonstrate his true quality as a person.

In return, both you and he will know that in him doing this and you accepting it, you are actually building a far greater kind of security than can ever be provided by money, bricks and mortar.

You know that if you ever were to split, you would make sure that he was ok. So it really doesn't matter. And - he has a point - currently you have one dependent who, if everything were to go wrong, would ultimately be your responsibility, not his. Your earning power would be compromised by that, whereas worst case scenario, he could sail off into the sunset and do whatever he liked.

Go along with it and his plan for investment. It sounds good. Remember also that if/when you have joint children, they will inherit equally, so theoretically this houe could end up part of HIS children's inheritance too.

Emotions are running high. Your lovely Nanna has only just gone - sorry for your loss. I'd put it in your name for now and make a note to go and see a solicitor to discuss things further in six months. For example, you may want to leave the house in trust for DD, but give DH the right to stay there for his lifetime. That would preserve the house according to your Nanna's wishes but give your DH security. If you split he will be entitled to something though I think.

But that's all down the line. Take some time and work out the practicalities a wee bit later.

Thank you for the replies - I have had a long chat with DH and showed him this thread. I don't think he really understood where I was coming from before.

Anyhow, the upside is, we have reached a compromise. I will have the house in my sole name, we will save up what we would have been paying in rent, and use that as a deposit on a house we will buy together. If the worst happens (and I genuinely don't think it will,) he will have 75% of the money we have saved.

As for wills - no we don't have them at the moment, but once everything is sorted, we will get them done. I am going to leave the house in trust for DD (and any further children) with DH and my brother as trustees. This will mean that if something happens to me before the purchase of our joint home, he will have somewhere to live until DD and any further children turn 21 or whatever. If we have purchased the house, then he will have that house to live in. He intends to ask the solicitor to draw up something for him to sign to say that he has no claim on the inherited house. Apparently while this may not be legally binding, in the event of divorce, it can be taken into account by a judge.

He says that the heart of the issue is my Nanna's intent. She wanted me and DD to have the house as security, and as someone has already pointed out, to continue to take care of us even though she isn't here to do it in person anymore. I have to agree with that, and I feel much better now we have reached a compromise we can both live with, but which also offers some protection to us both.

Thank you for your kind words about my lovely DH. He was very touched when he read them.

Basically, you need a will.

You can state your requests in a will - some people who gain property and don't want a new H or W to have a share if they ( the house owner) dies first sort this out in a will.

But without a will he'd be regarded as your next of kin and it would transfer to him, whether it was in your name only, or not.

OP...you have a gentleman, who is looking after your & DDs future interests.
Mr. Kaliani...you Sir!, are a true gentleman!