sex but no romance

[Deenamumof1]

Hi
im getting married next year to an amazing man who is an amazing dad.
When we first got together he used to suprise me with things all the time, but 4 years and a 2 year old later he doesn't really treat me anymore, its not just the flowers or gifts it's the way he just expects sex without any sort of cuddling or romancing. Like today ive thought about his needs all day and kind of been a bit playful sexually today with him, so once our son went to sleep we had sex but after we finished he was facing the other way on his phone it took him about 3-4 minutes to turn around and when he did i tickled him and watched him sleep and it just made me think I remember when we first got together he always used to watch me sleep and tickle me without me having to beg him. Like I know people say its the honeymoon stage and it goes away but I never thought it would with him cos im very much still in the honeymoon stage.
Im so excited to marry him next year cos he's an amazing dad and hes such a help to me, he makes me laugh and we're so simular we fit right together. Should I just accept that hes not bothered in romancing me anymore like now hes got me hes doesn't need to do anything to keep me, or should I expect more?

Sounds like my sex life after 5 years and a nearly 2 year old, so no advice sorry!

I've personally never had the tickling/watching each other sleep ever in any relationship. So maybe it was the honeymoon period and can't last for ever? Not being cynical, it seems you have been lucky to have had that closeness but maybe it is natural that it will
wane over time. It must be rare that both parties in a couple are so into each other for longer than the initial falling in love period.

It sucks ive mentioned it to him in past and for like a week or 2 he is romantic but then its like hes like oh that's her lot until she crys about it again. So hard :(

Yeah I guess so, I would never want us to finish. Its just something to remember and forget I guess

I get that 'romance' feeling now when DP puts me before all others (bar his kids obviously)

I think it sort of moves on from romancing someone to being properly in love.

Last night DP said "if anyone did that to you I'd go mad" and my heart almost flew out of my chest. Also the other day when I got upset about being told my (not his) DS probably has a rare, yet undiscovered genetic disorder, he said "it doesn't matter, we will deal with it and always make him happy"

But then, we've never had the 'romancing' side of things, but he's just so loyal, it's so much nicer than flowers.

We also have a good sex life without the romance bit.

Think about how much he invests in you now instead

Yeah that's lovely!! he calls me beautiful and stuff when ive done myself up. So complements are nice, its just hard to accept thats all thats left. Like he plays guitar but hadn't played properly since our son was born so on monday I was going to call into town to pick him up a tuner and other things he would need to get back into it. So im always thinking of things to get for him as a suprise but then the favour isnt returned. Makes me feel shitty. Thanks for the advice though, ill just get used to the fact he still makes me laugh so thats the romancing from now on

Sorry to hear about you DS by the way xx

Don't be it isn't anything new, it's just a professional saying it instead of me.

To be fair I felt a bit like that when I first got with my DP. I was used to people really trying hard and constantly getting romanced.

DP couldn't be arsed with all that and just got on with things but was a rock to me.

Probably why he lasted and no one else did

It sounds like a transitional thing for you as well, I'm sure it feels a bit shit. But eventually it won't. If he's decent to you and supportive, you are lucky