I've name changed. I need to know what I can do about this situation. I'm worried for her safety. I'll be as brief as I can.
I'm Irish and live in England, cousin and wife are in Ireland. She had a baby the same week I did so we keep in touch and when I'm home I always go to see her and our DDs get along well. She's a lovely, gentle woman. I'm going back next week.
My cousin has always been volatile. More so after drinking. His family are afraid of him and I don't think anyone's ever pulled him up on his behaviour which includes smashing up his parent's home and starting fights in bars.
Now he's married with two children. Her family are a four hour flight away. Things I've noticed:
She had a burn on her arm that she said was steam from the kettle. It wasn't a scald and it was the same size as a cigarette burn.
She no longer has a mobile phone. She says it has broken.
The TV was smashed and she said the 2 yo did it.
He swears at her in public.
He found a stash of coins in the garage and thought it was the previous owners. I think it was her escape money as when he showed it to me the coins were dated after they moved in. He's too thick to figure this out. It was about £80-100.
Her MIL doesn't like her because she breastfed and cosleeps. She told my mum that this was weird and she was overprotective and she couldn't stand her. MIL drank heavily through her pregnancy and saw nothing wrong with this. MIL also volatile and would start a fight in a field of cows.
She never has any money for days out. Last time I took her and the kids swimming. She's a SAHM and I think he controls every last penny. He always has plenty of fags and booze and the kids have lots of toys etc but they never go anywhere.
Last weekend the PILS, her SIL and her H went for a long boozy weekend and left her on her own. She told my mum that her and the kids coming along would never happen. They don't get holidays.
She has to have his dinner waiting for him. Even on the hottest day of the year he wanted his usual spuds and meat.
He swears at the eldest DD. Younger DD is a carbon copy of him and elder is like her. He dotes on younger DD.
So, what I'd like advice on is how do I approach her about all of this? She's so isolated. I could post ten more pages of his disturbing behaviour but this is the main points. I know he's an arsehole but if he's physically hurting her now too then it's escalating into God knows what. I want to help her.
Thanks.