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Original poster

I'm fed up of trying to keep my MIL happy

9 replies

redtulip · 19/09/2006 21:33

I'm a new mum and am loving it, but am getting really frustrated with the demands put on me by my DH family.
Particularly with my MIL, she seems to think that she never sees the babies ( its twins ) even though we are always inviting her round or suggesting other things to do together. Its always me that suggests everything but she always acts like its never enough. I think she thought that before I had the babies I wouldn't cope and I would need her help all the time but we're doing really well at the moment.
The problem is she will never say anything about how she really feels so all that happens when we spend time with her is that there's loads of tension in the air.
I also get the feeling that she wishes I wasn't there when she sees the babies.
On a recent day out with MIL and SIL ( suggested by me of course ) they took loads of pictures of the babies and my DH but none of me. I don't know if I'm being paranoid but I really felt like they were trying to keep me out of the picture. ( They recently gave my DH framed pictures of him with the babies but there were none with me aswell ) They always go on about what a great Dad DH is but never say anything to me.
I'm getting really fed up of trying to keep them happy all the time. What can I do ??

OP posts:
pipsqueak · 19/09/2006 21:37

can you explain to them how hurtful you find their attitude or get dh to do it? they do sound rather pre-occupied with the babies (understandable) but ahve to remember you too!

fransmom · 19/09/2006 21:38

what does your dh say to them about the way that they are palinly making you feel? (((((((hugs)))))

southeastastra · 19/09/2006 21:38

do nothing, don't try to impress them, keep calm and cool they're your babies she sounds jealous as hell!

fransmom · 19/09/2006 21:38

sorry, my sp is rubbish today! i meant plainly

Original poster
redtulip · 19/09/2006 21:45

I think you're right that they're very preoccupied with the babies which is understandable but they seem to have forgotton whose babies they are somewhere along the way !! My DH agrees that there is tension in the air but is reluctant to raise the issue with his family. I hate confrontation so could never say anything to them myself.

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 19/09/2006 21:46

I dont think they mean to upset you. It seems that they are just so overwhelmed with pride and excitement that they are overlooking you.

NotQuiteCockney · 19/09/2006 21:50

I'm with VVVQV. They really don't mean to ignore you, but you're not as important to them as your kids (and your DH) are. That's the reality of dealing with ILs.

That being said, I wouldn't bother trying to keep your MIL happy, particularly, do what you want to do. You're doing your best, trying to make her happy, and she's just annoying you.

See her when it suits you. Use her help if you want to. Don't expect her to make a fuss over you - she won't.

lemonaid · 19/09/2006 21:51

Give them a nice framed portrait of you, DH and the babies and say "I thought you might like this as I noticed you didn't have any of the four of us together"

fransmom · 19/09/2006 21:55

i like lemonaid's idea very clever

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