Head or heart?

[maryberryisace]

Just that, really. I'd like to know what you'd all do.

Option A - easy, straightforward, just right on paper. Logical choice to family and friends. A flat, smooth, wide road. No bumps. But maybe just a little too flat and smooth in the long run?

Option B - definitely an uphill struggle. Complicated, twisting and turning and family and friends would think you were absolutely mad to take this path. But you get that fluttery feeling in your stomach when you think about it.....

Intetested to hear your thoughts

A younger scoop was 'B' all the way now I'd say A with bells on.

What are you talking about....romance or moving house

Option A. Every single time. Heart flutters won't last and you'll just be left with a big hill.

Is this about a potential partner though or a new set of wheels

How long have you been dating them?

Potential partner

It really depends on you.
Will you get bored of A or will you regret B? Nobody knows, both could work or fail.

If it helps, I would choose A, but that's because I don't like drama in my life. My friend chose B, but it didn't work. Mainly because it didn't turn into A in the long run.

Why do u have to choose a or b- have you got a deadline for making a choice? If you don't know, surely neither of them? I would not go for the logical right on a piece of paper choice- but then I can be happily single and think that is also a choice you could make!

Neither.

A fluttery feeling can de down to all sorts of things, not all of them a good sign. Often our friends and families are right about these things when we are blinded.

You sound bored/disparaging of A and I feel sorry for him/her

Wait til you meet someone who you love talking to, where there is mutual respect, kindness and affection. Who you find neither too dull nor too much drama.

From the way you describe it alone - A

Having to face very difficult, complicated situations armed nothing more than "a fluttery feeling" is sort of ridiculous.

If you need to ask, then neither is right.

You'd just know.

Not A.... that would be embarking on a relationship to please others and you would end up resentful and bored.

Not B.... no partnership should be an uphill struggle.

There are more than two potential partners in the world.

Is this an affair thread and A is your DH and B is your OM/potential OM?

If so, go for C, leave your marriage with dignity, spend some time as a single woman, then see if B looks so interesting 6 months on from being on your own, or if he was just an 'escape route' from A.

If not an affair thread, then avoid B - relationships that are a struggle are romantic for about a year tops, then you realise it's just bloody hard work.

And again, go for C, being alone and seeing if you can find someone who's as "not hard work" like A but does make your heart flutter.

I agree: option C, probably.

A but I am old and wiser than back then and lazy these days.

Option C

You don't deserve Option A. He deserves to be with somebody who genuinely wants to be with.

Option B sounds like a good bet for a short term bit of fun. If that 's all
you want fine.

If you want an LTR find a man who is decent and who you can have a bit of fun with. Option A will always leave you thinking 'there must be more to life than this?' Option B will let you down.

PS I find the whole Head or Heart question the kind of thing teenagers say.

probably C

if you are drawn to B, then don't get hooked in in a hurry. Observe the man for a long time before committing and see if there are any red flags. If circumstances don't allow that, don't go for it.

Option C

Head and heart have to agree.

Bearing in mind that, if you can find 'the absolutely perfect partner' , you will be almost the only person in the world, who ever has. However, if you are asking us to choose between A and B , and not say, 'don't choose either' then I have to go for option A.
As long as you accept that this is YOUR choice. You also need to accept and UNDERSTAND that it is very UNLIKELY that you will be able to change a kind,careful,considerate, but rather dull man into a swashbuckling tempestuous lover. Otherwise it will be very unfair and dishonest to option A.to choose him.

I went for Option A, as previously I just had awful taste in men. He has turned out to be the love of my life... But I knew exactly what I was doing.

Your descriptions of "uphill struggle" Vs "Flat straight road" both sound dreadful.

Are you sure you want to be in a relationship at all?

Wait until you find someone who is both head and heart friendly. It doesn't have to be either/or.