Let down...

[MightyMeerkat]

...I arranged a month ago to go on holiday with my mum for the week. She's in a relationship but tells me she is trying to end it. I'm single with few friends so company on holiday is a treat. I booked and paid for the holiday - cottage by sea. Today she said she said she will miss the first 4 nights of the holiday to go away with her partner even though they are supposed to be separated. Feel so let down. Too late to get my money back. And not inclined to accommodate her turning up mid week. Now dreading holiday. Why are people so inconsiderate?

Have you told her that you feel very let down? Have you questioned her decision to go away with a partner she's supposed to be separated from? Have you expressed your disappointment and anger?

People are often thoughtless rather than malicious. In this case it sounds as though she's acting selfishly, maybe sees it as an opportunity to get back with her boyfriend, and hasn't thought it through what it means to you.

It also sounds as though you need to make a bigger effort to make some real friends rather than relying on your mother

That's pretty flakey of her. I'd feel very annoyed and let down too and I'd let her know in no uncertain terms.

I'm sorry you've been let down, especially by your mum. Even if she changes her mind, you'll probably still feel pissed off with her.

So could this be an opportunity for a lovely relaxing week by yourself? Lazy mornings reading in bed, long walks by the sea, sampling local teashops and pubs . . . sounds wonderful to me!

She's jolly casual about letting you down, is this how she always is? It's such short notice even if you had loads of friends you'd probably find it tough finding a companion for next week.

If you really can't get a refund I'd go and take a few days' rest.

mighty I am sorry to hear that your mum has let you down , I think you should tell her how you feel and perhaps as cog suggests it is time to branch out to make new friends so that you are not so reliant on your mum, who sounds as though she is going through a second teenage phase!

I think peeps here have suggested excellent ideas around a break just for you, some time to do what ever you wish for a few days. I know it is not what you had hoped, but I would be treating it as a personal retreat!

I hope that you have a lovely time how ever it pans out.

She is trying to separate? Might there be pressure from her partner, who would rather she went on holiday with him than you, so he can persuade her on to go?

oops: on = not

Oh dear, so sorry about your Mum being so thoughtless. Is she always so unreliable?
However the only alternative is to now try and enjoy yourself for the four days, as much as possible. Get yourself sorted out with your fav drinks, books, chocolates and downloads and look on the bright side.
You are only alone if you don't speak to anyone. There are a lot of people who are out and about who would love to be spoken to. You only have to say ' hullo' and the next minute you can be in a cafe with them having a cup of tea and listening to their life story.
Try not to dwell on your Mums behaviour from this minute and try to think about your own happiness. Concentrate on the positive. You owe it to yourself.
Xxx for you as it is not easy.

I would reply to her saying if she's going to ditch your pre made plans in order to go sashaying off with her partner, she needn't bother turning up for the rest of it

Have you said anything to her? I'd be really pissed off to be honest. Can you find anyone else to go instead?

Thanks for all your comments. I've had the same thoughts.
I would love to be in the position of having friends to go away but it's hard to find friends who want to leave partners and kids at home to go on holiday with me! And single friends don't stay single for long.
My mum has been trying to split with her partner for months. I think he won't go and she won't put her foot down.
I've had it out with my mum and she is full of apologies. I am very pissed off and not inclined to forgive her. I think this must have come across because she has texted to say she and her partner will come spend the weekend with me then her partner will go home on Monday so it's just the two of us.
Am I cutting my nose off to spite my face if I say I'm so angry at her that I can't face the prospect of her company?!!

would think you were justified in saying that you don't want her company, but maybe you'd regret it? I'd be more pissed off at fact she seems to think she can bring her partner along now as well! I'd decline that option but say you'd like her company for the second half, so you can have a few days to be peaceful and enjoy yourself, and then some time with your Mum.
or just take me

Eek now she proposes bringing him along too for 48 hours?

I would take a deep breath and say to her,
"No, actually Mum that's not what I had in mind when I suggested we get away for a week together. Let's drop the idea and you sort (him) out and I'll see you when I get home".

What Donkey said.