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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

separation

6 replies

rebeccaht123 · 20/08/2014 16:17

My partner has left me with our 3 children. I have sorted out tax credits and finances so i can manage. He now asks me for half the tax credit money so he can afford to live, i said you should of thought that through before he left. However for me to work he needs to look after the children at the weekend so i feel as if i am in a corner here.What do i do?

OP posts:
StrongerSingle · 20/08/2014 16:37

Err, no ... Your money is your money. It is a benefit for you and your children.
Your ex should live off his own money. Does he work?
I would also have said don't tell him how much money you have coming in, but it sounds as if he already knows the numbers x

Jan45 · 20/08/2014 16:40

That money has nothing to do with him, so effectively he wants to steal money from his kids, can see how he is an ex, wanting paid for looking after his own kids, thought I'd heard it all.

Nicklt1988 · 20/08/2014 23:52

I will assume you work part time, if so the tax credits are fully yours if you are the main carer.

Does he work? If not that is his problem and he should support himself. You have no legal obligation to give him a penny.

heyday · 21/08/2014 00:01

Is he paying you maintenance for the children? If not then him having the children for the weekend constitutes his contribution to the their upbringing if he does pay maintenance then perhaps you could supply a little bit if food, to help out, whilst the children are with him at the weekend.
Tax credits are yours for the upbringing of the children. Don't bow down to his pressure. If he is struggling then he will have to find ways of resolving this difficulty. He is no longer your problem.

AcrossthePond55 · 21/08/2014 01:38

heyday is spot on! Nothing more to add, really.

D0oinMeCleanin · 21/08/2014 01:45

I had this. I told my employer what was going on when I put my notice in. He more than happily arranged my shifts around pissing off my ex, who can now see his kids very Wednesday if he/they want to.

I totally get how you feel trapped. I did too, but it is worth asking your employers for more child friendly hours. I never in a million years thought my boss would change my shifts to suit. I guess I mistook how much he loves dd2 vs how much he hates my ex.

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