In a previous post I mentioned I've recently gone NC with my parents. Mother has narcissistic personality disorder. My brother and I got emotional neglect, some physical neglect. I then also had some sexually abusive behaviour from my brother. Brought up (but no longer) a Christian I was for a long time very "good" and forgiving about all of it. Until therapy for panic attacks/anxiety when it all came out and I saw it for what it was. And realised the effect of it all on me - years of emotional/psychological problems.
Thing is I feel stuck. Stuck in the anger, resentment, sometimes hate, pain, disappointment... of it all. Which parents stir up when I see them. Stuck in the memories. My brother - young and confused and emotionally abused at the time - has apologised but he's inherited a really good dose of the self-centredness. So he's not much help.
If I break off from folks for good this will mean I lose contact with most of my family except Gran and brother. Uncles, Aunts, cousins will stay out of it - and away. That's too much for me. If I maintain some contact, from a distance, with cast-iron boundaries that will work probably but .... just want to let go of the emotional memories and emotional reactivity - and get out of the FOG - which I'm really in.
Going to read some of the recommended books but any advice from people who've got out of FOG (I'm a softie) and out of the memories be great.