Hi all
Please give me some practical advice. Long story short - been good friends with X for 20 years & I love her dearly, she's fun to be around, we've been through a lot together, she was bridesmaid at my wedding, but she hasn't done, or wanted or needed to do, much growing up. She's late 30s, living at home with mum making all her meals, cleaning etc.
Her life for years was fairly dramatic re drunken incidents & weird boyfriend dramas but for 13 years, I lived abroad so when we saw each other was celebration time so alcohol was always a basic ingredient of any get togethers-there would almost always be a drama & we'd all think she was overexcited. It became more evident since moving home 3 years ago that she either has 'a drink problem' or is an alcoholic, (still trying to work out the fine line difference there). Anyway we have a mutual best friend-Y, who readily agreed/suggested that we should talk to her about the drinking, (X had recently driven me somewhere for my car the morning after a night out & staying at mine-she was all over the road & turned out she'd necked a load of spirits from our booze cupboard in the morning & there were other drink driving incidents-she's not currently driving). X didn't take kindly to the 'intervention' which I don't think could have been articulated any better - e.g. we care about you & are here if there's anyway to help you with anything if and when you're ready....' type thing. She's basically avoided me for the last 18 months without openly trying to discuss anything with me.
I love her dearly & even went to al-anon (f&f of alcoholics group) to try to understand & know what to do more, obvs didn't help!
My issues are -1-another young friend died in a tragic accident this last week & I can't stop thinking about it. 2 - my cat also died (only pet & had her for 16 years),3 - my silent friend has really saddened & pissed me off by walking out of my life & 4 - it also hurts me that our mutual friend seems to be making no effort to help to heal our friendship. He's super sensitive & seems to just want to avoid confrontation & claims he hasn't discussed the situation with her.
I keep going through what I did, what else I could do & from that to, 'what a bitch, I'm clearly well rid'. I feel like I need some closure from this situation but not sure what to do. Should I request a meeting or just bury everything & say goodbye to this friend forever?
Any advice appreciated.....