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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Stripping the house!!!!!!!!!!!!

10 replies

Joy3 · 19/08/2014 17:42

My marriage is over and my husband has refused to leave the house (the main family home) for the kids(3 of them) and I. After much thought I have decided to leave the house for him and seek alternative accommodation. However will there be a repercussion if I take everything in the house when I move out with the kids.

he is very temperamental and unpredictable so I have no intention of telling him I am leaving as he is most likely to fly into a rage and destroy everything rather than let me have it or the kids for that matter.

PS: I have a non molestation order against him and an order saying the kids live with me.
I intend to file for divorce so the house can be sold but unable to afford one at the moment.

OP posts:
Twitterqueen · 19/08/2014 17:48

I really, really don't think you should leave the house. Please get legal advice immediately as I'm in no position to advise you, except to say that for the children's sake alone, you should stay where you are.

Twinklestein · 19/08/2014 18:04

As you already have a non-molestation order, would it be possible to get an occupation order? Have you looked into that already?

Joysmum · 19/08/2014 18:08

Get legal advice before you do anything.

Original poster
Joy3 · 19/08/2014 19:05

An occupation order was unsuccessful because he works abroad and it was felt that a non molestation order should be okayShock . Given his past violence when he is in the country I fear for my safety as he comes and goes as he pleases. sometimes he is coming in at 2am and starts to kick off, police have said it is almost un enforceable to have a non molestation against someone 'you still live with', as its his word against mine and he has been cleaver enough not to lay his hands on me in the last couple of months since the order but doing stuff emotionally which is damaging to me mentally but especially the children. He moves things around the house and I sometimes think I am going crazy.

OP posts:
jayho · 19/08/2014 19:17

get your non mol extended to exclude him from the property

jayho · 19/08/2014 19:20

emergency appt with local court, stress that you will not prevent pre arranged contact with children, just not at your house

Original poster
Joy3 · 19/08/2014 20:14

Believe me have done all that but the judge must have been off his rockers and refused to issue occupation order

OP posts:
Squidstirfry · 19/08/2014 20:37

I agree do not leave. The law will b on your side. He's presumeably away abroad working half the time so just change the locks and kick him out.

EarthWindFire · 19/08/2014 20:58

I agree do not leave. The law will b on your side. He's presumeably away abroad working half the time so just change the locks and kick him out.

The OP has said that they have uncessfully tried for an occupation order. Therefore by doing this the OP would be breaking the court order.

My advise would be to list and photograph the property you take with you/ leave behind and lodge with your solicitor.

Original poster
Joy3 · 19/08/2014 21:37

I will effectively be starting all over with 3 kids and it will take a while to get any maintenance from him if at all so need all the help I can get to start with

OP posts:
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