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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

ex moved four doors away aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhh

63 replies

bossmum41 · 18/08/2014 20:53

just been to court to fight to keep family home for me and two children, ex crying saying he needs a home for children but cant afford it !! he owns several properties . anyway i got family home and next day after court ex smuggly moves into his new home four doors away!
he says its good for the kids to be close to both of us , i think its unhealthy especially as we aren't on good terms, im so angry that he lied and tried to move myself and the children to a smaller house yet he had a bigger house all along four doors away. its not good for the kids and now all i want to do is move house.
i

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Original poster

bossmum41 · 19/08/2014 10:48

yes he did lie big time!!! cookiemonsterishot but i cant do anything about that can i?

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Shedwood · 19/08/2014 10:50

It may sound harsh but I think you need to have very strict boundaries with your kids when it comes to mummy time/daddy time. If, for example, wed afternoon is daddy time and they come back to your house instead of staying with him then there's no TV, no computer, no snacks, no talking, they get a reading book, some paper and pens to draw with and that's it.

You need to work, your working time is just as valuable as his and when the kids see that if they go to daddy's (during his contact time) they can have the telly on/ run around etc but can't with you, they'll be keener to go. Obviously if his time is up at 5pm, then at 5:01pm you become engaged mum again, chatty, cuddlly, playing with them etc.

Home will be always be your house of course, but if you don't start being stricter with boundaries then they will never spend any real time with their dad, which presumably will inhibit you from working and paying for that roof over their heads?

Original poster

bossmum41 · 19/08/2014 12:16

i am strict with it as its my time off but when he walks away leaving them and drives off there isnt much i can do .

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CookieMonsterIsHot · 19/08/2014 15:49

See a solicitor. Lying to the court is a very serious offence.

Original poster

bossmum41 · 19/08/2014 17:08

after all i have just been through for the past few months and all the money ive spent i dont know wether i can go through it all again.

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BitOutOfPractice · 19/08/2014 19:22

What an absolute nightmare. That really sucks.

Sorry no useful advice but just wanted to lend some sympathy

Original poster

bossmum41 · 20/08/2014 12:54

thanks x

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WellWhoKnew · 20/08/2014 13:24

Lordy - if he has lied to court, and you can put yourself through it, then take him back to the courthouse.

Lying to court is contempt - it's bloody serious stuff!

Is this under the Children's Act or through a divorce that he's lied?

At the very least, ask a solicitor to consider sending him a letter asking him to explain this apparent change in circumstances, and reinforce the terms of contact.

There are things you can do, but like all these things, it will cost money. You can't dictate where he lives (I know you're not) but you may be able gain some control over the situation to make it more bearable.

Bloody awful though. I feel for you.

Original poster

bossmum41 · 20/08/2014 14:28

fdr hearing it was.

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WellWhoKnew · 20/08/2014 15:11

It was FDR?!?!

In that case, prison could well be his next home.

So you've already had exchange, FDA and then FDR? It doesn't matter if you've signed the Financial Agreement, you can re-open it if it comes to light that they have not 'fully and frankly exchanged'.

It is precisely the fear of the consequences that stops normal people from lying on the Form E. They are severe.

Hi ho off to your solicitor, you go, my dear.

A least for a chat to express your concerns. Of course, he may have cashed in a lottery ticket the day after you signed, but if he bought the ticket before....

It changes everything!

Original poster

bossmum41 · 20/08/2014 15:42

hes very smug about moving there.
i have sent off to land registry to see if its his name as the other properties he has he put them in his step dads name before we went to court .

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WellWhoKnew · 20/08/2014 15:55

Good luck. I hope you get some answers - and some justice.

IthoughtATMwasacashpoint · 20/08/2014 15:57

Transferring the properties to his step father is fraud, unless the step father bought them, in which case he still lied about his finances. This can be checked by your Solicitor with a view to going back to court

OneSkinnyChip · 20/08/2014 16:02

Absolutely take this up with your solicitor and take it further. That'll wipe the smirk off his face!

RandomMess · 20/08/2014 17:55

What IthoughtATM said - if he's hidden his assets that is lying too!!

Def go back to see your solicitor!

Original poster

bossmum41 · 20/08/2014 19:56

just received an e mail from land registry he bought the house one month before we went to court. so saying he couldnt get a mortgage and crying saying he just wanted to have a house for the kids was all bull! he already had one yet he wanted me and the kids out of the house and the kids to move school the selfish sod!
right im off to solicitors lying under oath i didnt do yet he did big time !!!
boy am i mad!!!!!

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WellWhoKnew · 20/08/2014 20:18

Don't get mad - get even!

Definitely don't hire those escorts now...hire the solicitor!

This is a glorious opportunity to turn the tables - that smug smirking arse shall shortly be a mere arse!

You may well find yourself owning that house and moving into it, or at least seeing a 'For Sale' sign outside soon enough - the powers of the judge are limitless if he's lied.

Bet you're glad you raged here now! I hope it works out with the solicitors. Good luck.

RandomMess · 20/08/2014 20:27

Blimey absolutely don't get mad get even - please keep us updated I want to know that he got his come uppance, the selfish horrid arse.

Original poster

bossmum41 · 20/08/2014 21:18

hes got kids tonight 3 till 7 and they still arent back no answer nothing im so angry right now he thinks hes above everyone!

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LumpySpacedPrincess · 20/08/2014 22:06

He is using proximity to cross boundaries.

Original poster

bossmum41 · 20/08/2014 22:19

kids back two and half hours late , i rang police to report it as it was past his contact time. they are off to see him.
contacted friend whos a barrister she said dont bother with purjery but contempt of court and only if i would receive more from the fdr hearing , i got 78% of the house but they didnt know about this other house he had bought so i may of got the house outright if they had known. will look into it.
thanku all for your kind words and help x

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Original poster

bossmum41 · 21/08/2014 10:17

e mailed my solicitor this morning she is looking to into it!

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WellWhoKnew · 21/08/2014 10:28

Let's hope the solicitor is unimpressed and recommends you return to court. I know it's a stress but it'll be worth it I'm sure.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/08/2014 14:03

Oh boss I hope you can squeeze him till the pipes squeak!

Original poster

bossmum41 · 23/08/2014 08:05

the judge now knows about his antics so all we do now is wait to see what she wants to do !

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