Was I being a horrible cow this morning or was DP being a bit inconsiderate?

[WeReallyNeedAThunderstorm]

Due to my Dp's line of work, he got a call from work asking for his advice at just after 6am this morning. The phone call wakes me up, I go to lift my phone off the side table to check the time and then try to get back to sleep.

My DP sees that I have reached out to check my phone and thinks I am awake and then starts talking to me about his phone call. Initially I respond with "aha" and "yep" and "that's nice" etc but I'm really really tired and want to get back to sleep so tell him that I need to get back to sleep. He then continues to chat to me, wants to cuddle and I keep saying to him to leave me alone as I need to get to sleep. He says "you're not asleep, i saw you check your phone" and this escalates to me actually yelling at him to STOP TALKING..

We have a huge row.

We managed to make up later but now I feel guilty for how I responded but also a bit confused as to whether I was out of order.

How would others respond to this kind of thing?

Yes, I would be pissed off if someone did this to me.
I think that if it happens again, close your eyes and don't engage in a single word of communication. No one word, grunt or other sound. Hopefully he will get the hint.....other than that I suggest you get a sock and ram it in his mouth until he shuts up.

I think you were being reasonable in the circumstances.

Does he have a history of being inconsiderate / ignoring your needs and putting his first?

Someone sleepily checking the time on their phone in the early hours is not the same as someone being ready and willing to chat about their partner's work. Any fool knows that.

I can see my DH doing exactly that, though. Any murmur of polite interest from me and he thinks he has a green light to talk through a TV programme about who said what to whom at work. Now I just say "you need to stop talking now".

I'd be pissed off too.

Bit if both really. At the end of the day I don't think it's that early for a weekday. What was to stop you being nice and saying I need more sleep please?

He thought you were awake and acted as such. He didn't wake you up on purpose.

I was definitely nice to him and said I need more sleep in a polite way, McBear

I had to keep telling him that I really need to get back to sleep until I snapped and shouted at him.

6am is a couple of hours short of when I wake up but as a mum to a toddler and full time student I get very territorial about my sleep!

We just say "you're waffling now" it's a light hearted way of us telling each other to shut the f up...... [

I'm very unsympathetic about other peoples sleep tbh so bear with me. I work full time and then some and get six hours max very disturbed sleep due to my toddler (very sympathetic for you with that though. ) and am up long before six

I'd be tempted to say 'I love you but stfu'. Sounds like that didn't work, what else can you do? You poke a bear enough times and it will bite

I would have responded in the same way. Surely one telling is all you need. What on earth made him think you wanted to know about his phone call at 6am! Rude!

Sounds like its one of those situations that got a bit of hand or to quote Ron Burgundy "well that escalated quickly".

He was probably quite awake and wanted to chat, I've done it to my wife and get the hint after the 4 or 5 "mmmm".

He obviously didn't take the hint which ended in you shouting which then probably made him lash back, I bet you both feel guilty now. I wouldn't worry about.

If DP started to talk to me in the morning and I told him I need to more sleep and he carried on chunering I think I would lose it.

DP knows not to start a conversation until I'm vertical. I'm just not a morning person.

Works both ways. DP is very tired of an evening and once he's in bed he likes a cuddle then sleep. If I try and talk to him once he's in bed his replies get shorter untul they're just grunts and he falls asleep.

I think its normal to get ratty with each other. Oh and I are always having some sort of tiredness induced spat. Just apologise for being a bit ratty and next time just say "I'm
going back to sleep". No massive harm done by either party. He was prob a bit over excited and didnt read your signals.

I would have gone back to sleep after the ambulance left.

How odd. Just say "shh h "

Nope, I think he should have shut the hell up and left you alone. I check my phone at random times, doesn't mean Im up for the day.

Can you tell Im not a morning person

He's in the wrong.
My DH has done this too. Or gets up and leaves the door open so I hear him banging about.

Explaining doesn't cut it.
Arguing makes no change but he gets PA and sarky.
Leaving the door open myself when he's still in bed kind of makes him see the point. - until the next time.

But it shows basic inconsiderate behaviour that is wearing away at our relationship.

I f you find the answer you'll make a fortune

I think your mistake was saying actual words.

I normally just ignore and ignore, and then if the noise doesn't stop I sort of release a hellish sort of "groan/wail" or "woan" if youj like. It's not intentional, but when I'm half asleep it's the automatic way I express huge frustration and annoyance.

It's about as obvious as saying "SHUT UP" but less rude (I guess?)

What a shame you couldn't muster the energy to respond alertly and jump out of bed to cook him a full English immediately thereafter. [Tries to keep a straight face]

Sorry drifted off into a parallel universe for a moment. No, you made polite noises and asked him once nicely before it escalated so he can't feel hard done by. I am the last person to be compos mentis before 8 7 am these days and back when dealing with toddlers, would have been fiercely protective of any sleep I could get.