advice on how I explain to the children

[inneedofsomeclarity]

Ok, so we split up a few weeks ago and it is such a relief but has been tricky and we've had to continue sharing a bed and even went on holiday together last week. But today he has found somewhere to live and moves out on saturday. Now, how do I tell our children, 6 and 3, and when.

Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
xx

I'm not being flippant, but I thought this was really apt

I'm in the same boat, will have to tell ds soon

Ah same here. We know that dd will be devastated.
We have been still sharing same bed also.

Sorry no wise words other than to have lots of hugs with dc's and be as honest as their ages and understanding allows

My DCs are 4 and 2, their Dad moved out 2 months ago, 2 year old obviously too young but she knows something i think, 4 year old was clearly more stressed that we were not speaking when living together and we didn't have time with them together, we told them mummy and daddy decided to live apart, it was a grown up decision and nothing about them and we both loved them and that would never change, we also explained when they would see Dad and that they could phone him whenever. Its early days but so far so good, my 4 year old is moody when he returns from dads house sometimes but im proud how well theyre doing
good luck x

Hi,
thanks everyone for your advice. I think I'll just have to do it and keep up the cuddles!
Xx

Hi inneed I was in your position nearly a year ago. We told them when he had secured his house and a week before he moved out so they had time to get used to it but not too much time. We visited his new house all together too. Be prepared for tough questions like but where will mummy sleep though!

We told them together and had some books to help, mum and dad glue and I don't want to talk about it (more for my 8 yr old at the time) I'd highly recommend mum and dad glue. We came back to it a couple if times too. We told them we loved hem very much but couldn't live in the same house anymore and just wanted to be friends. Lots of tears and hugs all round.

When he moved out we organised short visits to start as they didn't want to stay over for a good 2-3 months. We did it all at their pace. And now they go for 3 nights in a row which we have built up to and have been away on holiday with their dad too. We did Xmas dinner together with my family and I went to visit his parents with the dcs too. We did split officially in November. We have since done Father's Day and eldest dc birthday together too.

Their dad's phone number is on display in the kitchen and they can call/FaceTime him whenever they like. To start with this was often especially with youngest do who is 6. Now not so much at all. They happily go into his house although parting again after 3 nights is tricky and youngest usually has a tearful first night back at home.

I guess overall my advice is to keep the dcs at the centre of all of your decisions and what is best for them not what is easier for either of you. Good luck. It is tough but it does get better. Promise.

Really hammer home that they have done nothing wrong, sounds simple but its really important. Also never let them think that you might get back together. (Unless you do obvs).