We've had a similar parental problem - but in our case, it's my parents. I feel sad that my parents haven't seen my daughter (their first and only grandchild) since last Christmas, when she was three months old - but they behaved so appallingly when we stayed with them, that I couldn't do anything else but cut contact with them. It wasn't just that particular visit, either - I realised a lot of things about my upbringing, discovered that I'm still angry about the way they acted around my wedding etc etc.
I realised that in order to be / become the mother my daughter needed, I had to shuck them off. I didn't intend this to be a permanent state of affairs, but have discovered over the last few months by just how "light" I feel, that they must have been sucking so much emotional energy from me.
I will make contact at some point, but it will be on my terms - and I will not be spoken to with disrespect - certainly not in front of my child. To disrespect me, is to disrespect her.
I don't have siblings, so there isn't that issue - but really, I think that's just a hobby-horse - and if it weren't that, it would be something else. My parents want a daughter they can brag about, who earns loads of money - sod my happiness - but it isn't up to me to live FOR them - they need to find their own fulfulment.
They probably wouldn't treat a stranger in the street like this - and you shouldn't both have to put up with it. Counselling might help your husband - it might make him think about how patterns of abuse have shaped him. Because it is abusive behaviour - even if they've never laid a finger on him...