Divorce - how to do it??

[maryberryisace]

After a lengthy separation the time has come to make it formal. Worried about telling ex but will deal with that later.....

What I want/need to know is, can we get a divorce without sorting out the finance part officially if we both agree things between ourselves? It's a bit complicated because of some debts, but I am confident we can be fair with each other, just don't want all our details dragged through a third party, or the courts.

Also, as money is tight, I want it to be as cheap as possible - are these diy ones I see on the internet any good? Does anyone know how they work? Do will still need solicitors?

I know it's a messy old business, but I have full details of everything, house in my name so I am confident I won't be shafted. We have 2 grown up DCs so no contact issues.

Married for 20 years, fell out of love really, just grew apart. I've had two relationship since so 'happy' to carry the can if needed.

Thanks in advance.

My XH and I did the divorce ourselves - you can get the forms from the direct.gov website and you just pay the £410 court fees (we went halves). Was straightforward.

Given our lack of finances (no house and had separately dealt with debts before marriage ended) and amounts of pension were very small as well, we chose not to have a financial order. If you do, then you need to use a solicitor which will add to the cost but depending on your financial situation may make more sense.

With internet divorces you still need to pay the court fees btw.

I did mine online as my Ex and I are very amicable and had sorted finances out and child care costs out without having to do all that. It was simple and cost about £350 plus some court fees.

Thanks very much for your advice, really appreciate it

You need to sort out the finances officially. I can't stress how important that is.

Yes you can sort it out between yourselves but you need to get it written up into a consent order and sealed by the court. If you don't do that then claims can be made in the future way down the line. You are still tied financially.

Depending on what your situation is judges can actually refuse to grant your absolute until finances are sorted.

Thanks Earth - why would be judge refuse to grant an absolute if we were both happy with the situation?

Because it opens up to further claims in the future if for example you came into money he could claim it as your financial ties haven't been severed iyswim. Especially either if you have a house etc or if you have debts.

By all means agree it amonst yourself but make sure you get a consent order sealed by the court. That way there is no comeback.

Thanks for the explanation, can see what you mean.

I know someone whose absolute was refused because the judge said one party was being ripped off (they were!)

It doesn't have to cost a lot but you cannot get a divorce without it going through the court anyway. Try not to see it as being "dragged through" the courts but just as a way of you both reaching closure and moving on.

Good luck.