How do I deal with this?

[SSSandy]

Friend A has a heart of gold, lovely woman. Told her about a crisis in my life. Haven't seen her for a while, got an email yesterday asking how I am.

Also got an email from an Ex-Friend B (who I'd cut off completely - I think with reason) saying she was devastated to hear from A about my problems and giving me her new number.

I don't like Friend A telling Ex-F B about my personal problems. Haven't responded to either yet. How should I tackle this? Don't want to rekindle friendship with B and feeling annoyed at A.

I wouldn't respond to B, and would tell A that you don't want her to discuss probs with anyone. When you told her about your crisis, did you say it was in confidence?

No, I didn't ask her to keep it to herself, just didn't occur to me that she'd say anything to anyone else (except her dh which is ok by me).

Ignore friend B. If friend A is a good friend, she should respond well to a light hearted telling off and forget it.

If you have completely cut off from your ex friend and don't want to rekindle your friendship then I wouldn't respond to her email at all. I'm sure she'll take the hint. I had an ex friend who tried to get in touch once DS was born but i had my reasons for cutting her off and wasn't interested in renewing a friendship so I didn't respond. I would say to friend A " I got an email from Ex Friend today and to be honest she's the last person i needed to hear from right now and I feel quite uncomfortable that she knows about my problems" Hopefully Friend A will realise that she has done the wrong thing even if it was with the best of intentions.

It sounds as if B is trying to build bridges - but if you don't want her in your life anymore then ignore the email.

You need to talk to A and let her know how hurt and annoyed you are, and that she was out of order talking to anyone about your problems - let alone someone who you no longer regard as a friend. It seems odd to me that of all the people to choose to talk to, she chose someone you are no longer friendly with. I'd also think twice about confiding in her again - she may have a heart of gold but she also has a loose tongue ... and friend B may not be the only person she's spoken to.

Thanks ladies. I was wondering whether it was rude/childish to ignore the olive branch from Ex-F B and also whether I was making a mountain out of a molehill re Friend A.

Thing is if A tells B, B tells C, C tells D and E and the next thing you know everyone knows all about your private life and I really don't like that kind of thing. I'll leave it a week so I'm less annoyed and then invite A over for a coffee and a chat.

I wouldn't leave it if I were you - in a week, the world could know. I'd follow tubismybub's advice pronto if i were you.

She just sent another mail, saying that since I hadn't got back to her, she'll be calling me tonight so I'll talk to her then.

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn

SSSandy, if your friend is really a 'friend' then she'll understand how you feel.
This happened to me once and I told my friend how I felt. She apologised and that was that

I wouldn't bother replying to friend B e-mails either.

Take Care x

She's a good sort and I am not very diplomatic so I don't want to over-reach and offend her. That's why I wanted to leave it for a bit really. Well, see how it goes tonight