dreading telling my parents

[ninetynineonehundred]

Second post of the morning.
I'm staying with my parents for our holiday with kids but not H this week.
Tonight when the kids are in bed I'm going to tell them that H and I have separated.
In fact we separated in march but didn't tell them as dad needed a major operation and we didn't want to give him any more stress.
He's still at home as we can't afford for him to move out and it's taken this long for us to really get our heads and hearts round the fact that it's over.
I can't deal with all the questions and shit storm that's about to hit. It's been a horrible year and telling them is going to make it much more real.
Luckily H and I still get on well which helps a lot, even the kids don't realise anything is going on (the relationship part of us just dripped away over the years but the friendship has remained so we are the same in front of the kids as we always have been).
I'm so so scared of the future now. It's not going to magically fix itself and this is really happening.
He's moving out at the end of the year so I have to tell them now and they are not going to understand.

My tip would be that, when you tell your parents, you talk about the separation but at the same time show them that you've got a plan in place. People are generally less anxious if they think you've got an idea of how to take things forward. Have you any grounds for thinking they'll subject you to a 'shit storm'? Are they very judgemental people? Why wouldn't they understand?

If my daughter announced this to me I certainly wouldn't create a 'shitstorm' but I would almost certainly be very concerned as to how she was going to cope financially etc in the future.
Really, you are grown woman now so just tell them that you have both decided to separate, that you are both on very good terms and that you are both going to do the absolute best for your children forever but just not together as a couple.
Perhaps they are old school and feel that a man and wife should stay together for life, no matter what. I would tell them, speak about it for a few minutes, try to answer any questions they may have, although you probably don't have too many answers at this stage, and then either change the subject or just go to bed so that the subject is closed for now.
You have enough on your plate right now without having to worry about their reaction. You never know though, they might just react in a totally Unexpected way and be, quite rightly, very concerned but also very supportive. Let us know how you get on.

Good morning again ladies
Heyday you've hit the nail on the head just like on my other post. Definitely old school. Can you live with me please.
Cogito, plans are vague but it's a good point you've made. I just don't have the energy to deal with lots of questions. Small not sleeping baby in my bed.

The phrase shit storm was misleading. I guess my fear is that by making it official my whole life is going to be a shitstorm.
Not feeling great today.

I think it all seems overwhelming at the moment. You just have to take one step at a time. Talk to others who have split from their partner and see what the possible problems could be in so you can prepare yourself in advance.

Your main two problems will obviously be housing and finance and you can start to put feelers out now as to how to resolve those issues. It's going to be tough on all of you but al least you and partner are on good terms and that is a major plus. Sometimes fear of the unknown is actually worse than it needs to be as things work out eventually but it's hard to see that at the time. Keep strong and make sure you look after yourself as you are going to need all your strength for the coming months.