Why would i feel scared?

[moonshine123]

Basically I helped a male person through a job application and tips for the interview etc and he got the job. He has been out of work for a number of years so obviously he is delighted, he sent me a bunch of flowers at workplace to thank me for my time and help ( it is part of my job), that was it, nothing untoward or anything, yet I am terrified to tell my o/h as he can be so jealous, I feel nervous and anxious when ever I think about the situation to the point I get diareaha (sorry tmi!!) I have been given things before at work, sweets etc for helping people out, its just my nature, I haven't thought about telling him of these gifts either as I don't see why I have to explain all my moves. Am I being daft?

No lovely your not

But there is a problem with you feeling so anxious of your partners reaction through jealousy that you suffer from IBS

I think you might benefit from exploring your partners treatment of you on here, rather than what you may or may not have done wrong. Your initial post is raising huge red flags for me, your being helpful and thoughtful to others should not be in anyway used to spark feelings of jealousy in another, unless of course it is because they are insecure themselves and take it out on you.

Thank you Guilypleasures001, I don't know why I feel so worried and anxious, really gets to me!

I know I have done nothing but feel I have to explain all the time, can be very tiring x

Moonshine,

I have anxiety and IBS, so I suffer from the same problem as you. They are very much interlinked. It may help if you got to your gps?

Does your o/h overreact when he is jealous? Does he get nasty at all? Is this why you are afraid to tell him? Perhaps tell him both women and men have given gifts to say thank you for all the help you do. Or you could just say you bought them for yourself? But you shouldn't have to lie to spare his feelings xxx it is his problem if he is jealous xx

I think you need to say a lot more about your OH. 'Terrified' is a pretty extreme word. What makes you think he'd be jealous about a gift of flowers? What would 'jealous' look like? How would you characterise your relationship generally? Can you talk freely about normal things with your OH or do you often find yourself second-guessing his reaction before saying something?

No he is never physical, its the moods and silences that makes me nervous.

Im often left feeling like a scorned child x

If I was given flowers at work my husband would be delighted by the fact that I am valued and appreciated for what I do. This is very sad.