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Relationships

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Original poster

Can any good come from this?

19 replies

irnbru22 · 16/08/2014 21:51

I recently met a bloke at work who I am really attracted to. We have only been working together for about a month but get on like a house on fire and have recently started texting all night long when we get home from work. He is a virgin whereas I have slept with my fair share of people. We talk about sex quite a bit even before we started texting just in an office banter kind of way. He has told me in no uncertain terms he would like me to be the one he loses his virginity to.

Neither of us want to be in a relationship with each other. He basically says he wants to sleep with me as he thinks I'm gorgeous etc but also he thinks I would be good in bed and I can teach him. I am a bit wary as though I don't want to be with him I think I would be very upset when we eventually parted and he moved on and put his newly taught 'skills' to work on another girl.

I do really fancy him and would like to sleep with him but I don't want our dynamic at work to change once its all over. Am I setting myself up for disaster?

OP posts:

Stripyhoglets · 16/08/2014 21:55

Like heck is he a virgin. This may well be his pulling method. Only go further is you can cope with the fall out and he may well move on without a though, if he's moved in on you so quickly. I would expect someone who hasn't slept with anyone to be looking for a relationship tbh not just sex with no strings attached. Doesn't add up. Sorry.

Stripyhoglets · 16/08/2014 21:56

Without a thought!

Original poster

irnbru22 · 16/08/2014 22:02

Perhaps I was misleading to say 'in no uncertain terms'. I know he likes me (calls me gorgeous, beautiful always compliments me, has said out right he would love to sleep with me etc) and he hints overly heavily that he wants me to be his first. I asked him the other day if he would want his first to be a one of or on going thing. He said it would depend what the girl would want, but probs a one off. However I think this may be because he knows I do not want a relationship.

OP posts:

Original poster

irnbru22 · 16/08/2014 22:04

I actually don't doubt that he is a virgin, I am certain of that. What I am confused about is whether or not he would be interested in having a relationship. But I don't think I would even want a relationship with him?

OP posts:

WhatTheFork · 16/08/2014 22:08

My brother used to tell all the ladies he was a virgin. He did it well into his 20s. There are probably at least 30 women walking around thinking they popped his cherry.

Stripyhoglets · 16/08/2014 22:27

You sound confused about what you want. Tbh I would leave well alone, it's been a while since my young free and single days but it seems very upfront for someone who's never managed to get someone in the sack before. If you are willing to risk it and can cope with working with him if it doesn't work out then go for it. But be sure you can cope as I still thing he's having you on.

Dirtybadger · 16/08/2014 22:32

I'm not sure there's much to be gained by a bit of fun with someone who's never had sex before. He's gonna be all fumbly and awkward, etc. And if he isn't there's something strange going on...

He also doesn't know how he'll feel about you after. Maybe it will be awkward, maybe it won't. I'm assuming you've had a ONS/similiar before so can predict more accurately how you will feel.

Find someone else for this!

Original poster

irnbru22 · 16/08/2014 22:43

Dirty Thats the bit I'm mostly worried about, that I want a fun, lightheartered shag and it's actually going to be sex 101.

OP posts:

heyday · 17/08/2014 04:45

Nothing wrong with a quick, no strings attached shag but it could turn out a bit awkward if you work with him. He is saying all the right things to flatter you but I expect he is probably saying the same thing to other women too.
I would probably advise to not go there simply because you work with him and it could backfire but on the otherhand life is all about taking chances. Unless you want a relationship with him then you have to detach your aching loins from your brain so you can compartmentalise this. Good luck with whatever you decide.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 17/08/2014 09:19

Newsflash... you're already in a relationship with this man if you're texting him all night with flirty messages. Only it's the kind of relationship most 'virgins' have with their favourite porn site.... Where's your self-respect?

BolshierAyraStark · 17/08/2014 09:31

I'm also struggling to believe he's a virgin probably because it's bullshit but hey ho.

Nothing wrong with NSA sex but it doesn't sound to me like that's what you want.

Lovingfreedom · 17/08/2014 09:36

Why are you so flattered that this guy wants to 'make you his first'? He sounds creepy and weird and it will almost certainly be awkward with him at work afterwards.

YoureInMySystemBaby · 17/08/2014 09:40

Where does one get the idea that sex with a virgin is going to be a fumble and sex 101?! I'm fairly certain he'll have watched his fair share of porn at some point...

When I lost my virginity - the night before my 16th birthday, my then boyfriend told me he didn't believe I was a virgin - the cheek! It was merely a case of having watched the free 15 minute previews as a teen, when my parents were out and checking out 'position of the month' in my elder sisters More! magazines - along with all the other tips. Added to the fact I was confident and was doing it with my first love...

Aside from that, he could be leading you a merry dance and fibbing, he may or may not want a relationship - sounds like you fancy each other - and do you/can you continue working with someone you've been intimate with if it never goes anywhere afterwards?

Personally, I would steer clear - but not because I thought it would be a shite shag!

WildBillfemale · 17/08/2014 10:56

Like heck is he a virgin.

ha ha my thoughts exactly - I think you are being fooled OP

Sleepysheepsleeping · 17/08/2014 11:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

irnbru22 · 17/08/2014 14:42

Thanks for all the input. Threads made me realise I can do NSA sex but not with someone I am force to be around for 10 hours a day afterward. I couldn't handle knowing he was up to stuff with other girls afterward.

In respects to him being a virgin, I would have said the same if someone else was posting this (that hes having me on). But he never 'made a confession' to me that he was a virgin. It was brought up by an embarrassing story told by a co-worker on day 2 or something of us working together, and he seemed a touch embarrassed at the time that it had been mentioned in front of me. Could have all been an act, but seems a bit long winded for a rouse?

I think I will see if things develop into a real emotions/feelings an then consider a relationship, but NSA/ONS is off the table.

OP posts:

Twinklestein · 17/08/2014 14:51

It sounds to me like he's put you in the 'goer' box and you're good enough for a shag but not for a relationship. Even if the virgin line is true, it's not that flattering to be good enough to show him the ropes, but not to stick with after.

He may have some whole Madonna/whore thing going on.

Reese123 · 17/08/2014 16:03

I think even if you did have sex with him, imagine the awkwardness at work when you have to see him. Inevitably, one of you will have greater feelings than the other and it may just end badly.

From someone who was in a relationship at work and it ended badly and everyone knew about it......

If you want NSA sex find it from someone else where it's less complicated.

Floop · 17/08/2014 16:05

How old is this guy?

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