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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

All about my Mother...

2 replies

suburbanjellybrain · 18/09/2006 22:20

... I am cakking myself at the moment because my mum is coming to stay/ live with me for an as yet unspecified period of time next month. She is currently living in Wales in a rented cottage and has been helping my sister with her 7 kids, now all sis kids are at school and I have 2 v young kids I want her to have a relationship with. So she is packing up and coming over my dh is being a saint to agree to this so kudos to him but I keep thinking what have i let myself in for.

I should explain that my um is on a tiny income (a widows pension) but as she is not pensionable age yet herself she gets very little in the way of benefits. You may ask quite reasonably but surely she can work - however she suffers from quite debilitating depression and has not worked officially since having me some 30 cough years ago. In Wales she supplemented her income looking after an autistic boy to give his mum (one of my sis friends) a break - so she is not without skills. But she finds it very difficult to manage her finances and cannot fill in forms etc. without lots of help. I know she is going to be a great help to me but I also know we are all going to find it difficult living together. But finding affordable accomodation is going to be much more difficult here (Bedfordshire) and housing assoc places seem to be in high demand.

Does anyone have any experience in finding affordable accomodation or living with their mad but lovely mothers that could help?

OP posts:
muma3 · 18/09/2006 22:31

if there a valuab;e reasons for her not working could she not get disability allowance for depression? just an idea , hope it all works well

suburbanjellybrain · 18/09/2006 23:02

thanks muma3 - Mum has found it difficult to go through the required hopes to get any of her benefit entitlements over the years - I think there would be v little disabilty available as she hasn't really made enough tax contributions over the years - to busy bringing up a family and she was widowed young (in her 40's) with and 11 and 14 yo still at home and me at uni so it wasn't straightforward. I think sad though it sounds she is kind of on hold till she reaches retirement age and doesn't have to worry about working anymore - ironically she will probably get a jobthen cos the pressure will be off!

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