How do I embrace family life...really struggling

[superstarheartbreaker]

Single mum to a lovely but wilful 6 year old dd. On family holiday together. Last year she was great and made lots of friends in the pool. She was up for fun excursions. This year she is very clingy, freaked out on boat trips ( which she adored last year) and dosnt want to do anything , not even the water park. Seems more clingy yet rude and stubborn.

Before we came here I had a run in with my dafs gf family. My dads gf is an old friend and I have poated about her before as back in the day she went out with 2 of my exes. It made me [ hmm] at the time.
Dd and her dd have a turbulent relationship and her dd suffers from massive tantrums ( nothing to do with my dd and they ate same age.

The night before we came on hols her dd had a massive tantrum because my dd was given something she wanted. She attacked her mumband it was very hard.

Then her mum gave me some comments on how my dd had been winding her up all day by telling her about our holiday. [ hmm] . Alao dd is too old for her age apparently and more like a teen, she is a queen beeand then her dp joined in and said it is up to the patents to soet out how my dd intetacts with their dd. They are competetive but imo it is normal.

I was fuming. Aibu to think that it is not my parenting or my dds fault that her dd has massive tanteums? Bear in mind that my dad says she has them all the rime when we are not there anyway.

I find it rich that my friend says our kids have a controlling relationship when she is shit to me at times and has form for digs.

I am goinh to distance myself but find it hard as my dad and her mum live in each others pockets.

Ive had quite a few scathing remarks about taking dd abroad when they much prefer camping in england, hate the sun and my lovely hol is for my benefit apparently! Grrr.

Scuse typos.

When you say 'my Dad and her mum'... is 'her mum' your Dad's girlfriend? Wasn't quite clear.

Whatever the cast-list, I think it's time to take a great big step back from your father, his girlfriend and anyone else who is poking a big beak in your life in such a negative & critical way. Develop your life in a different direction, do your own thing & make new (nice) friends for yourself and DD at the same time. If you all live in the same town (educated guess), even consider relocating.

I'm not suggesting 'NC' (no contact) but I think they sound far too involved with you for it to be healthy.

Tbh I'm having a bit of trouble working out who said what to who, but you know what? It doesn't really matter. What does matter is that just now your dd is feeling a little insecure hence her clingy and maybe irritating behaviour.

Bring her close, maybe baby her a little, help her get dried and dressed. Cuddle her if she will allow or stroke her calmly. Dont push her into anything she doesn't want to do right now. Give reassurance and praise where you can. As her to chose what she would like to do for the day etc.

I'm sure it's hard for you as you were expecting a different experience but I promise you it will help her to regain her confidence quicker that getting cross with this. ( btw, I know you haven't said that you have got cross, I just sense your irritation and I probably would have been like this, too).

I do hope you both have a great holiday and whoever is causing you hassle at home gives it up.

They are too involved. My mum died 3 years ago and my dad got with my friend's mum 5 months later.
I havnt been able to forgive her as it felt too soon tbh.
I am glad he has got someone but still. I see my friend and her mum as predatory females tbh.
The trouble is my dd is very close to my dad and it would break her heart if we hardly ever saw him.
Im also jealous that he seems to spend most of his time with my friend and her tantrumming child.
Its not even the child...its my friend. If I ask my dad to sit he will normally take my dd over to her house so the kids can pkay anyway hut does nothing to supervise.

It would only break DD's heart if you didn't fill her life with lots of other things to do and people to be with besides Granddad. Children are very adaptable. You keep calling this person your 'friend' but she sounds anything but. Explain to your Dad that you don't want DD spending so much time with this other little girl because it's causing problems. Call him on the phone instead perhaps.

I guess a major complication is that I have mh issues and dad is a huge support in that...but then again the ik situation is getting me down . Catch 22.

Whatever MH issues you have, they probably aren't being helped by the stress these people create. Your Dad sounds like a reasonable bloke but 'support' should include getting the Ugly Sisters to back off.

I can't see that how your dad and his gf are behaving is very supportive to your mental health.

I agree with pps, distance yourself from him, and I would find yourself a therapist to rely on rather than your dad, and fill your daughter's life with other people.

Personally I think grandparents are over-rated. Only one of mine lived long enough to remember and she was fairly dire.

I think I should make it clear that it is the girlfriend's daughter and her bloke who are making the sarcy comments.