would you find this upsetting or not?

[inmyshoos]

My ds was less than a year when dp and i got together although ds has a strong relationship with his biological father calls dp dad also. Dp and i have 2dds.
When i was preg with dd2 my mil texted to ask me did i need anything for Baby T number 2? T is the initial of dps surname
It was my 3rd baby and tbh i was upset by it. Dp also though was quite insensitive. However things recently have made me really look at our relationship with in laws and so i wondered how many of you would gave been upset by that because i am open to the possibility i can be quite sensitive?

Assuming your first son has a different surname, I think you are be

Presumably your DS has your XH surname and as he has a relationship with his father, I am a bit confused as to what your MIL said wrong. Your DD2 IS baby T number 2!

I'm not seeing what she did wrong here. Was it because she was assuming the baby would have your partner's surname.

Posted too soon...being a tad over sensitive. She probably didn't mean anything by it, just that it was your second child with Mr T (her son). Which it was. But you would know best and if there are other issues there and she did it on purpose knowing it would upset you, that's a different matter entirely.

Yes I see what you mean now. She was your third baby not number two. I suppose it could be seen as a bit insensitive.

You're being a bit oversensitive I think, I doubt it was a comment meant to hurt. You could always give all 3 your surname to avoid comments like this in the future!

YABU. your first child is not your current partner's, nor is it her grandchild.

Sounds like she is doing a nice thing and you are being overly sensitive I'm afraid.

I'm expecting my third but dp's second, this baby is baby x no 2 as ds1 isn't hubs. It is fact nothing else, ds1 isn't thought less of or treated differently at all.

Nope! I wouldn't have been upset at all. Unless there is a huge backstory of her ignoring DS or being a cow in other ways I think you might be a little over sensitive.

Is there a reason you are posting about this now as obviously it is some time after the event? Has something else happened to upset you?

Maybe pick up the phone and talk to her if she is your mil
Doesn't sound that huge to not broach it with her. Even if you do cry

YABU.

Sorry but this comment does NOT seem like a big deal.

If anything, it's accurate.

It would be even more disrespectful to say Baby T number 3, as it would completely disregard the biological father of your first born.

I think it's insensitive and unnecessary - she could have said 'Gd2' or 'the new baby' or 100 other things, saying Baby T 2 just highlights the 'otherness' of your DS, totally unnecessary & thoughtless and shows that they do think of him differently :( He calls your DH 'Dad', he has been involved with him since he was a tiny baby - there is no need for him to be treat any differently than the girls by them. Would they be the same if you had both adopted him? I'd have been upset too.

What has happened recently?

Let this go. Your over reacting. What she said was factually correct. Your first born isn't her grand child but if she has been good enough to accept him as such you should appreciate that. Your dp took on your son, she didn't get a say...........

Way too sensitive. Your first DS isn't her grandchild or your husbands son. The name thing is correct so can't see what she said wrong.

Thanks for replies. I probably was over sensitive about it. There was other stuff before so yes back history and im sure it added to it. Lots going on with in laws at moment and it was just one example of a time when i felt they or she had been quite insensitive but wondered if it was me being too sensitive.

Maybe i can give another for another round of opinions. Perhaps it is always me being an over sensitive cow.

They came to stay nearby us to visit and brought their other son and his family. We had only been in area for 6 months i had 2 young dc, was preg and area very remote so no real friends yet. Dh worked long days. I was so lonely id have gone back to my old life in a heartbeat but had moved with dhs job. Dh goes off to work. Come 11am i hadnt heard from them so i text and ask what are the plans for today. They text back saying how they are out in a village (maybe 20 mins away from where i live) at a cafe all having tea and cake. Was that me again? I will take it on the chin if it was.