I've met a new man who is really lovely. I started seeing him last October after my very long marriage ended. I had previously been with my exh for 23 years since I was 15.
In hindsight I needed time by myself to rediscover who I am before starting a new relationship but it happened and he's so nice that I really don't want to lose him.
I've deliberately kept it very low-key. I have 2 dcs aged 12 & 7 and am desperate not to disrupt them any more than necessary. I do things with them a lot, days out, time together just the 3 of us, make sure they know they are loved, lots of praise etc. They have a good relationship with their dad and see him 2-3 times a week. We are reasonably amicable for their sakes but our marriage is definitely over for good and I've never regretted that.
My relationship with this new man is great. He's incredibly kind and caring, we really enjoy each other's company and I see him as a brilliant new friend with whom I have great fun when we're together. I enjoy his companionship and I love him.
We see each other most weekends for one overnight when my dcs are at their dads. He's also been to mine when the kids are here but only about 3 or 4 times so far. This is the part that feels awkward. The dcs seem ok around him and like him, but it feels strange him being here, in the house that exh and I bought together, with our kids.
I purposefully wanted to stay in the family home so that the kids wouldn't be disrupted after the divorce, but now it feels wrong staying here when new people are coming round, in particular him.
He's not pushing for any more at this stage and is quite happy just to see me when the kids are out, but I know that he's fallen for me too. He recently told me he loves me and I know that was a big thing for him as he said he didn't know if he'd ever been in love before. I'm worried that I'm leading him along without being able or ready to take any further steps.
If I didn't have children we'd have moved on much faster - (I did spend a week with him recently when the kids went on holiday and we got on great) but I just can't see how I can offer him anything more at the moment.
I can't really see us living together for a long time (not while my kids are at home at least) and although I really love spending time with him I know I'm always putting my kids before him and it feels a bit unfair on him.
Should I tell him I'm just not ready for anything more? I'm scared to lose him but I'm also worried that I'm leading him on without any real commitment. Do I tell him before we get any more involved to give him the chance to end it now? I really don't want it to end but feel I owe it to him to let him know where I stand.